Mike Yard - Arguing Strategies

Behrendt, Daniels, Yard, Joyce, Mac, Nystrom, Schaal Season 1, Ep 2 07/27/2006 Views: 10,730

Mike Yard breaks down the different arguing strategies for men and women. (2:25)

All right, ah, black peoplein the middle.


It's gonna be a good show.

It'll be good, be good, be good.

All right.

Welcometo the affirmative action

portion of the show.

I've got to eat,too, baby. Sorry.

( laughs ):I'm feeling good, man.

I-I, you know, I just lostanother argument with my woman.

You know? That's...I'm like 0 for 187 now, man.

I just can't get one. I can't...

I don't know what it is

and I thought I was rightthis time, too.

You know what I'm saying?

I was hype! I was like,"I got her.

I got her!"

At the end of the argument,I was like, "I'm sorry."

I don't knowwhat the hell happened.

I thought I had her.

Can't get it, man,I don't know what it is.

Man, I just can't win one.

You know what it is? I...

I just don't havethe stamina, man.

I can't keep up, you know?'Cause women can go.

Men, we're not usedto arguing that long.

You know, 'cause... for real,when guys argue, it's quick.

You ever see guys argue?"Shut up! You shut up!"

And that's it. It's over.

You know what I'm saying?I got louder. I did this.

He knows I won. That's it.

That's how we operate.

Not women though, boy.

Women, you guys can go, man.

Six months later, you be like,

"And another thing...

"Didn't that happen last summer?


Can't win it, man.

And you know another reasonwhy we can't ever win, fellas?

'Cause we don't have goodarguing strategy.

We never really knowwhat the argument is about.

We don't. You know, we make

the same mistakeevery time, guys.

We always go into the...this is how guys always argue.

We always go into the argumentunder the impression

that what we're arguing about

is the thing that just happened.

You see what I'm saying?See, he's like, "Yeah, huh."

That's what we do.

We think this argument isabout this particular incident.

That is, in fact,not the case. No.

This argument is really abouteverything that I've ever done

since I've beenin this relationship.

That's what it's about.

'Cause that's what women do.

Whenever you mess up,they just point...

( cheering and applause )

That's what y'all do.

Whenever, whenever we mess up,

all they dois point, click, save.

Put that in a folder.

"Ooh, that's goingto come in handy later."

And they save it, too.You be arguing, "I did not leave

the empty containerin the refrigerator."

And she's like,"Yeah, but you left me in Jersey

back in '82 though, didn't you?"

What the hellthat got to do with milk?