You know, the 2016 electionwas sort of like
an episode of The Walking Dead-- it was long, brutal,
and it left us all feelinghopeless about humanity.
So to let us knowhow he coping,
we're joined by Hasan Minhaj!
-(cheering, applause)-Hey, man.
-What's up?-What's up?
You know...I've been just as depressed
as everyone elseabout all this Trump stuff.
Mostly because, you know...
-(laughter)-And people are like, "Hasan,
how do you get through it?"
I'll tell you how--a little piece of magic
I discovered on Facebook.
-♪ -AUDIENCE: Wheel of Fugitive!
Hello, everyone.I'm Sheriff Wayne Ivey,
and you're watching Wheel of Fugitive.
Okay, I don't even knowwhat that is.
-Is that a real show?-Yeah, it's real!
The Brevard CountySheriff's Department
makes a Facebook game showabout catching criminals.
Dude, this beardis not a fashion choice.
I j... I justhaven't had time to shave,
because I've been binge-watchingfor the past week.
You got to check outmy favorite episode, man.
...our weekly show,where we give this wheel a spin,
whatever fugitive it lands on,
we're gonna ask our citizensto help find him.
Let's see who this week's Wheel of Fugitive suspect is.
It looks like it's gonna beJoshua Roberts Smith
is who we're gonna look forthis week.
If you know wherewe can find Mr. Smith,
please contact usby going to CRIMELINE.
Yes! This is so much fun!
No, no, Hasan, I don't knowhow I feel about this.
Like, we've got to takelaw enforcement seriously.
Dude, loosen up.
Tell me you weren't happywhen the wheel
didn't land on the black guy.
Okay, I'm not,I'm not gonna lie.
-It was, it was gripping.-Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie,I'm not gonna lie.
I wa-- it--
Like, it was spinning,and I was like,
"Don't let it be a black guy.Don't let it..."
-And then it landed. Okay,I can't lie, I can't lie. -Yeah.
Isn't it a relief to knowthat wheels aren't biased?
Yeah, yeah. Okay, but look.
Hasan, I don't understand,I don't understand.
Why don't the police tryand catch all the criminals
-instead of just pickingone per week? -Oh, dude!
You are ruining the game.
Now, you guys are probablywondering what happens
if you're a fugitive,but you don't have a penis?
Well, they've got you covered.
♪ Oh, this is ladies night
(sheriff singing):♪ Oh, this is ladies night
Oh, hey, everybody.I'm Sheriff Wayne Ivey
of the Brevard Countysheriff's office,
and, as always,we're on Wheel of Fugitive,
but we got a little differentspin this week.
We've got ladies' night.
I'm sorry, what did I just see?
The most incredible show online.
No. No, no, no.I'm sorry, guys.
Can you, can you imagine, Hasan,
imagine if you'rephoning the cops,
and you're in an emergency,and they won't answer
because they'respinning a wheel.
-That is not a good thingto think of. -I wouldn't mind.
You know what they should addfor season two?
They should adda wheel of sentencing.
Like, you commit a crime,and then it's like, come on,
come on, come on, $20 fine.
$20 fine. Oh!
-(audience exclaiming)-(sad loser music)
Lethal injection for jaywalking?
You know what, Hasan, Hasan.
I don't like the ideathat American police forces
aren't taking their jobseriously, man, I just don't...
I would agree with you
if criminals weren't snitchingon themselves.
Let me show you my secondfavorite thing online.
Criminals breaking the lawto get more followers.
Because if you're goingto go to jail,
you might as well go viral.
A raid at a Huntsville homeseen in a viral video
turns into arrests and seizures.
You may remember this home.
It was seen in a mannequin challenge video
that went viral about two weeks ago,
where Huntsville teens were in it,
wielding guns and it did cause residents to be concerned.
We know two people were taken into custody.
We'll bring you updates as soon as they come in.
Cops don't even need to say,"freeze" anymore.
They just need to play"Black Beatle"
and the criminalswill do it for them.
And by the way,
why is this one guy chillingin the middle of a shoot-out?
Everyone's acting like they'rein a shoot-out,
and this one guy is like,"Hey, man,
"I'm just gonna leanagainst the car,
and think about my girl."
I love the idea that gangsters
are going to be doing socialmedia challenges now.
Isn't that amazing?Just like, "Yo.
"I'm Little Big here to do theice bucket challenge
"'cause the only thing I lovemore than murder
is helping people with ALS."
Hasan, I-I'm so confusedby this, man.
Why would anyone post something
that would incriminatethemselves?
To catch fire online, dude.
Two people have been arrestedin the fight against wildfires.
In Letcher County, police say Johnny Mullins
has admitted to starting a wildfire.
They say Mullins is a want-to-be weatherman
who started fires to gain followers
and likes on Facebook.
All right,this one was unnecessary.
Yeah, well, thank you,thank you.
'Cause if you want to getFacebook likes,
don't commit arson.
Just do what everyone else does:
Have a baby.
All right, look.
If you've got to do yoursocial crime on social media,
eliminate yourdigital paper trail.
Use Snapchat like I did.
Yo, what's up, New York City?
It's Hasan. I'm buying somedrugs with my drug dealer Dan.
Say what's up, Dan?
Dude, what the (bleep)are you doing?
-Snapchat-(applause and cheering)
The evidence disappearsin 24 hours.
It's not goingto be there anymore.
Hasan, it didn't disappear,you just showed that on TV.
Does that mean I'm going viral?
No, it means you're probablygoing to jail.
All right, then follow me onInstagram @HasanInJail.
Hasan Minhaj, everybody.