Dan Cummins - Unhappy Father's Day

Oswalt, Mulaney, Edwards, Cummins, Mordal, Prekel, Borowitz Season 1, Ep 3 08/03/2006 Views: 11,457

Dan writes greeting cards. (1:19)

sometimes it just feels right.

( laughter )

I read about a guy that gota poisonous cobra for a pet,

and it bit him and he died,and I thought, "Yeah...

it's a poisonous cobra."

( laughter )

What was plan A?

Like, what was he doingwith this thing at home?

( baby talk ):You're the cutestlittle cobra.

Yes, you... Oh!

( laughter )


( laughter )

Bad cobra!

( laughter )

Dead. Good.

( laughter )

Look, seriously, though,I don't... I don't...

hey, I don't justwrite jokes, okay?

You know what I'm best at?

Greeting cards.

I'm a really goodgreeting card writer.

And I'm gonna prove it witha little sample of my work.

I'm gonna share a few.

"As each day passes,

"you grow older, weaker.

"I've been working out.

"Revenge is near.

Happy Father's Day."