T.J. Miller - Vomiting on the Street Pt. 2

11/12/11 Views: 6,698

After T.J. Miller vomits in front of a stranger, he imagines how the event affected the rest of her day. (2:28)

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BECAUSE HER MORNINGSTARTED OFF SUCCESSFULLY.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S NOT WEARINGTHE CLOTHING

SHE WAS IN THE NIGHT BEFORE,SHE'S UP ON TIME,

SHE'S PROBABLY THINKING TOHERSELF,

WELL, ANOTHER SUCCESSFULMORNING...

SIPPING A FRAPPE LATTE!

WHAT DO THEY ALWAYS SAY?EARLY TO BED, EARLY TO--

THE WORM'S IN YOUR HOUSE--I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT CLICH├ęS!

OR AT LEAST THE PERSONIMPERSONATING ME ISN'T.

IT'S A REAL POINT OFINSECURITY FOR HIM.

BUT AT LEAST I WON'T HAVE ANAWKWARD INTERACTION WITH A--

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THAT BABYBIRD OF A MAN OVER THERE?

THEN SHE JUST SEES ME LIKE...

(retching)

I ALSO WALK LIKEA ZOMBIE WHEN I VOMIT.

BUT I FEEL BAD FOR HER,YOU KNOW,

'CAUSE WHAT'SGOING ON IN HER REALITY?

SHE'S GOT TO GO HOME AND CALLHER FRIENDS, RIGHT?

SHE DOESN'TKNOW THE CONTEXT.

SHE JUST CALLS, SHE GOES,"OH, MY GOD, YOU GUYS.

"I WAS SO UGLYTHIS MORNING.

I MADE A MAN VOMIT."

DID YOU KNOW THAT ACTUALLY--THIS IS TRUE.

THIS--THIS AREA OF COLORADO,RIGHT AROUND HERE IN BOULDER,

HAS THE HIGHEST CASES OFPEDOPHILIA PER CAPITA

OF ANYWHEREELSE IN COLORADO.

DID YOU KNOW THAT?

IT'S TRUE, I READ ITIN WIKIPEDIA.

I MEAN, I PUT IT IN THERE,BUT I READ IT RIGHT AFTERWARDS.

THAT'S ANOPEN-SOURCE-CODING JOKE.

I DO, I CREEPPEOPLE OUT A LOT.

I DON'T MEAN TO AT ALL.

I REALIZED RECENTLY THATSOMETIMES WHEN I'M EXCITED

ABOUT SOMETHING AFTER I SAY IT,I'LL GO LIKE THIS...

(laughter)

DON'T EVER DO THAT.

THAT MAKES ANYTHING YOU'RESAYING SOUND LIKE MALICIOUS

OR MALICE OR...

WATCH, I'LL SHOW YOU.

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYSDOING AFTER THE SHOW?

WHAT DO I WANT TO DOTO THEM AFTER THE SHOW?

HEY, MAN, CAN I BORROWA STICK OF GUM?

THAT GUM AIN'T FOR CHEWIN'!

EVEN NICE THINGS.

KAREN, CONGRATULATIONS,I HEARD YOU'RE PREGNANT.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO,GO UP THERE AND GET IT?

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