Joe DeRosa - Hating Hospitals

  • Season 2 , Ep 4
  • 05/10/2013
  • Views: 7,325

Joe DeRosa does not like being anywhere near an eye-washing station. (3:08)

I want to get into shapebecause I don't want to end up

in the hospital, all right?

I don't want to end up--

My mom was sick this year.

Uh, and she's okay now.She's okay now.

But she was in the hospitalfor a little while,

and, uh, I learned a lot.

Uh, first thing I learned was

I don't like beingin the hospital-- at all.

I don't--Not even as a visitor.

I don't like being any placethat has eye-washing stations

readily available.

What the hell is gonna happento my eyes in this place?

You need one of these machinesevery three feet.

And I have a question.

I have a question.

I know it's a broad question.

I know it doesn't applyto everybody,

but it's a valid question;I'd like to ask it.

Where did the conceptof hot nurses come from?

Who made up that fairy-tale,horse-shit thing

that I can't seem to find atany hospital I've ever been to.

Never seen it.

Never seen it once.

Seen it in porno moviesfor years.

Some chick's gotthe white hat on.

(yelling)

Every Halloween, some girl'sgot the nurse skirt up to here.

Clam flapping in the wind.

All night.

(making vibrating noises)

Sounds like a doorstopper.

I was like,I can't wait to get sick!

One of these hot whoreswill suck my (bleep)

as I die.

Try to find a sexy nursein the hospital, man.

These bitches are rough.

They're rough and tumble.

These girls werecoming into my mom's room.

"Anything I can dofor your mom, Mr. DeRosa?

Anything I cando for your mom?!"

"Stay away from her purse.

"You got a spider tattooon your neck.

I don't trust you."

For anybody that didn't laughat that joke,

I'm making fun of a PuertoRican, not a black person.

So you missed out.

And if anybody thinksI'm racist, I'm not.

Because I'm Italian-American,and I hate my own people

worse than any other raceof people on the planet.

Oh, I can't stand them.

Italian people, beautiful.

Italian-Americans, disgusting.

The-- I don't have timeto really get into--

This is how much I hate them.

I wish they would enslave us

just so I could bethe house Italian

that rats out the field Italiansto the master.

(crowd cheering)

Disgusting.

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