Nate Bargatze - Where It's At

  • Season 15 , Ep 6
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 10,825

In school Nate Bargatze only learned about Tennessee and the states that touch Tennessee. (3:40)

I GET TO GO-- LIKEI GET TO GO TO LIKE

DIFFERENT COUNTRIES ANDI-I DON'T DESERVE TO GO.

LIKE, I DON'T KNOW WHERETHESE COUNTRIES ARE AT.

I JUST GO.

I DIDN'T LEARNABOUT ANY OF THEM.

LIKE I LEARNEDABOUT TENNESSEE.

I LEARNED ABOUT THESTATES THAT TOUCHED US

IN CASE THEY ATTACKED.

[audience laughing]

AND, YEAH, AND I WASTOLD THE REST WAS EUROPE

AND THAT'S WHEREALL THE GAYS LIVES.

SO, I DIDN'T HAVE A PASSPORT--YOU KNOW, I WAS YOUNG.

I GOTTA GO TO BAHRAINWHICH WAS FUN.

SOMEONE'S FROM BAHRAIN--ARE YOU REALLY?

THAT'S CRAZY.

I-I HAD NO IDEAIT WAS A COUNTRY,

I'LL BE HONESTWITH YOU.

THREE YEARS AGO, I WOULDHAVE CALLED YOU A LIAR

'CAUSE YOU'REFROM BAHRAIN.

[audience laughing]

I LITERALLY THOUGHT IT WASTHE GUY WE WERE MEETING.

LIKE THAT'S WHATI JUST ASSUMED.

I JUST WALKED ABOUTBAHRAIN'S AIRPORT

LIKE, "HEY, DO YOU ALLKNOW THIS GUY, BAHRAIN?

"HE'S SUPPOSEDTO MEET US HERE.

"IS HE SOMEWHERENEAR HERE?"

[audience laughing]

WHEN WE WENT TO BAHRAIN,WE WERE DOING--

WE DID COMEDYFOR THE TROOPS

WHERE I DON'T HAVE, LIKE,A HUGE FOLLOWING IN BAHRAIN.

BUT I COULD START, THOUGH,WITH THE ONE GUY RIGHT HERE.

SO, IT'S ONEAT A TIME.

I-- SO WE GO OVER THEREAND WHEN YOU DO COME,

YOU STAY ONTHE ARMY BASE,

BUT ON BAHRAIN, YOU COULDACTUALLY LEAVE THE BASE

AND GO TO LIKETHE DOWNTOWN BAHRAIN, SO...

[audience laughing]

THEY TELL YOUWHEN YOU GO OUT THERE,

THEY'RE LIKE,"LOOK, IT'S SAFE

"JUST DON'T DRAWATTENTION TO YOURSELF."

SO THEY'RE LIKE, "DON'T WEARAMERICAN T-SHIRTS AND STUFF."

AND YOU'RE LIKE,"ALL RIGHT, THAT'S FAIR

"NO AMERICANT-SHIRTS.

"SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DOABOUT THE WHITE ON MY SKIN?"

[audience laughing]

YEAH... THAT'S PROBABLYGONNA BE THE ISSUE, IF I...

I DON'T WANT 'EMTO COME OVER LIKE,

"EXCUSE ME--ARE YOU MUSLIM?"

"UH, SOUTHERNMUSLIM, ACTUALLY.

[audience laughing]

"'CAUSE MY DADWAS A DEACON, SO."

YOU KNOW WHEREI REALLY WANNA GO VISIT?

UH, CAMBODIA--THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT, GUYS.

LIKE, AND I DON'TKNOW WHERE IT'S AT,

BUT I KNOW THAT'SWHERE IT'S AT.

[audience laughing]

SO THAT'S THEGOOD PART, YOU KNOW.

HERE'S WHAT THEYHAVE IN CAMBODIA.

THIS IS A FORREAL, LEGIT

TOURIST ATTRACTIONTHAT THEY HAVE.

YOU CAN SHOOT A ROCKETLAUNCHER AT A COW.

[audience laughing]

YEAH, THAT'S ONE OFTHEIR OPTIONS, ALL RIGHT.

AND I KNOWYOU'RE LIKE,

"ALL RIGHT-- I BETIT'S PRICEY, SO."

[audience laughing]

NO, IT'S NOT,ACTUALLY.

IT'S VERY REASONABLYPRICED, WHICH IS NICE.

IT'S ONLY $400 BUCKS.

THAT'S NOT THATBAD OF A DEAL

TO SHOOT A ROCKETLAUNCHER AT A COW.

[audience laughing]

AND IF YOU'RE LIKE, "WELL,WHAT IF WE DON'T HIT IT?

"YOU KNOW, IS IT REALLY WORTHIT TO TAKE THE FAMILY THERE?"

YES, IT IS.

ALL RIGHT,NO ONE HITS IT.

NO ONE SHOOTS IT, LIKEI GOTTA DO THIS A LOT AT HOME.

LIKE THIS IS KIND OF--AND THEY'RE GOOD DUDES.

THEY GIVE YOU $200 BUCKSBACK IF YOU DON'T HIT IT.

SO, THAT'SA GOOD BUSINESS.

WHY WOULD YOU NOT SUPPORTA BUSINESS LIKE THAT?

I-- MY FAVORITETHING WAS LIKE

HOW THEY HAD TO COME UPWITH THAT PRICE, $400 BUCKS.

WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOUGAUGING THAT OFF OF?

LIKE SOMEONE'SLIKE, "$500."

"LET'S NOT GETGREEDY WITH IT.

"I FEEL-- I'VE BEENDOING SOME STUDIES

"AND YOU CAN FISTFIGHT A GOAT

"FOR $100 BUCKSDOWN THE STREET.

"HE'S NOT EVEN INTO IT--WE'RE USING EQUIPMENT, SO.

THAT WOULD BE ANUNBELIEVABLE WAY TO HUNT,

A ROCKET LAUNCHER.

THEY JUST SHOOT LIKE,AT THE WOODS AND KILL.

THAT'S LIKE A BUFFET--YOU KILL LIKE A LOT OF STUFF.

[audience laughing]

THAT'S NICE--THAT'D BE FUN.

[audience laughing]

[applause]

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