Al Jackson - Erectile Dysfunction

Al Jackson Season 15, Ep 9 02/18/2011 Views: 8,841

Al Jackson believes that every man should take Viagra at least once in his life. (3:54)

this room has ever had any,

um, uh, ErectileDysfunction before?

[audience laughter]

Little E.D.?

Every bodies battinga thousand, really?

All right.

Lady's point 'emout-- No.

So, no one here's evertaken a Viagra or Cialis?

Is it just me keeping thatbillion dollar business going?

It's all on.

It's a lotof pressure.

It's all me!

I took a Viagra.

I'm gonna tell youwhy I took one.

And why every dude in thisroom needs to take one,

all right?

Fellas, listen up...focus 'cause daddy's talking.

I did the Las Vegas ComedyFestival this past year.

And in the V.I.P.Lounge in Caesars,

they had a block of icewith a hole cut in it.

[audience laughter]

That's not the joke,but you all are dirty

and I like that--You know what I'm saying?

It's all good.

And the event wassponsored by a certain kind

of vodka company.

So, what they did isthey poured the vodka

through the hole and by thetime it got to your glass,

it was nice and coldand it was free all night.

Okay, yes.

That tells you how myevening went, all right?

So, I get back to room withmy lady, Caesar's Palace,

jacuzzi suite,overlooking the strip.

We ready to do it.

We get to themoment and...

he wouldn't hollerat me... at all.

And any man that's ever beenin that position, like,

for some reason whenyou can't function...

it's kinda like tryingto put like a marshmallow

in a coin slot.

[audience laughter]

Well, how'd you allget the joke then?

All right.

So, I got a homeboythat goes back and forth

from Miami to Mexico.

He's like, "Dude, I go toMexico three times a week.

They don't have someprescriptions down there

and get some Viagra.

And that will neverhappen again."

I'm like every dude inthis room, this room.

You know your malechromosome kicks in like,

"Man, I don'tneed no Viagra.

But give me one...for-for research."

[audience laughter]

and I'm gonna tell you this...every dude in this room

needs to take a Viagraone night in his life.

And the reasonis very simple.

It's because for one our otherwise boring lives,

your woman will bescared of your [deleted].

[laughter and applause]

Don't laughand don't clap.

Here me now.

You [deleted] is pumpedup like it just watched

"Remember the Titans"or something.

It's ready to go.

It-- and if you'reblack like me,

it looks like the topof a snickers bar.

There's veinsgoing through it.

[audience laughter]

If your white it looks likea New York City transit map.

It's red and blue and--

[audience laughter]

Don't ask mehow I know that.

It was acrazy night.

And I'm gonna tell you this,fellas, some real talk.

Fellas, whenever you have anerection that beautiful...

and that powerful you gottasay something really cool

right inthe moment.

And I lookedat my ol' lady.

I looked her right inthe eyes and I said,

"What can browndo for you?"

[audience laughter]