this room has ever had any,
um, uh, ErectileDysfunction before?
Every bodies battinga thousand, really?
Lady's point 'emout-- No.
So, no one here's evertaken a Viagra or Cialis?
Is it just me keeping thatbillion dollar business going?
It's all on.
It's a lotof pressure.
It's all me!
I took a Viagra.
I'm gonna tell youwhy I took one.
And why every dude in thisroom needs to take one,
Fellas, listen up...focus 'cause daddy's talking.
I did the Las Vegas ComedyFestival this past year.
And in the V.I.P.Lounge in Caesars,
they had a block of icewith a hole cut in it.
That's not the joke,but you all are dirty
and I like that--You know what I'm saying?
It's all good.
And the event wassponsored by a certain kind
of vodka company.
So, what they did isthey poured the vodka
through the hole and by thetime it got to your glass,
it was nice and coldand it was free all night.
That tells you how myevening went, all right?
So, I get back to room withmy lady, Caesar's Palace,
jacuzzi suite,overlooking the strip.
We ready to do it.
We get to themoment and...
he wouldn't hollerat me... at all.
And any man that's ever beenin that position, like,
for some reason whenyou can't function...
it's kinda like tryingto put like a marshmallow
in a coin slot.
Well, how'd you allget the joke then?
So, I got a homeboythat goes back and forth
from Miami to Mexico.
He's like, "Dude, I go toMexico three times a week.
They don't have someprescriptions down there
and get some Viagra.
And that will neverhappen again."
I'm like every dude inthis room, this room.
You know your malechromosome kicks in like,
"Man, I don'tneed no Viagra.
But give me one...for-for research."
and I'm gonna tell you this...every dude in this room
needs to take a Viagraone night in his life.
And the reasonis very simple.
It's because for one night...in our otherwise boring lives,
your woman will bescared of your [deleted].
[laughter and applause]
Don't laughand don't clap.
Here me now.
You [deleted] is pumpedup like it just watched
"Remember the Titans"or something.
It's ready to go.
It-- and if you'reblack like me,
it looks like the topof a snickers bar.
There's veinsgoing through it.
If your white it looks likea New York City transit map.
It's red and blue and--
Don't ask mehow I know that.
It was acrazy night.
And I'm gonna tell you this,fellas, some real talk.
Fellas, whenever you have anerection that beautiful...
and that powerful you gottasay something really cool
right inthe moment.
And I lookedat my ol' lady.
I looked her right inthe eyes and I said,
"What can browndo for you?"