Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Jordan Carlos.
And Nightly Show contributorGrace Parra.
And the paperback versionof his novel,
Two Years Eight Months and Twenty-Eight Nights is out now,
author Salman Rushdie.
And for everyone at home,
join our conversation right nowon Twitter,
@nightlyshow,using the hashtag #Tonightly.
-So last night at theconvention, -RUSHDIE: Oh, yes.
Ted Cruz refused to back Trump.
Take a look,if you didn't see it.
Don't stay home in November.
If you love our countryand love your children
as much as I know that you do,
stand and speakand vote your conscience,
vote for candidates up and downthe ticket who you trust
to defend our freedom
and to be faithfulto the Constitution.
(applause and boos)
-Okay, straight up.-RUSHDIE: Yeah.
(chuckles)Well, you know...
Did he just perform a servicefor America?
Will we be thanking him laterif Trump is not the president?
Well, you know, look,first of all,
-I agree with everything hesaid. -WILMORE: Yeah.
I just don't think you're goingto find those people
in the Republican party.
I don't know.
Something sticks in my throat
about saying "thank you"to Ted Cruz.
-WILMORE: Yeah, I know.-You know, because...
Very, very difficult.
Because, you know,he's a snake, too.
Yeah, and the Zodiac Killer.
-Yeah, and the Zodiac Killer.-We know that.
So it's like you got two snakes,you know, I mean, two apples.
Well, I think it's a...
I think Trump is a snake.
I think he's a weasel.
Doesn't the weaselkill the snake?
Is that a thing?
I think the snakekills the weasel.
I think the mongoosekills the snake. Yeah.
-Oh, yes. -Yeah, mongoose.-That's it, right.
Maybe Hillary's the mongoose.
-Oh, it's looking twisted now.-Oh.
I-I think he absolutelyperformed a service,
and it's sad because it usedto be that doing, I don't know,
active military dutywas considered service...
-WILMORE: Mm-hmm.-...and now it's like,
some guy opposes Trump?
Give him the Purple Heart!
It takes very little these days.
-I mean, I, you know,actually... -WILMORE: Sure.
I've never seena political event like this.
-It's fascinating, yeah.-You know, I mean, never.
I mean, I'm not quite old enough
to rememberthe Nuremberg Rallies.
-Probably a good thing.-CARLOS: Yeah. Okay.
-Or the trial.-But... but you know,
but in--if they weren't in German
-and they were in English...-WILMORE: Yeah.
...they could sound like this.
-WILMORE: I know.-You know?
And I think whenHillary talks about how
it's more like a witch huntthan a political...
-WILMORE: Yeah.-She's right, you know.
-WILMORE: I know, it's sobizarre. -It feels like...
they want to lynch somebody
except for a changeit's a white woman.
Yeah, and you got--and he brings out the family,
you know, and, uh, I mean,the Von Trumps,
as I like to call them,you know.
-CARLOS: Yeah.-PARRA: Mm-hmm.
It's, uh, yeah, I mean'cause they look so nice
and they're smilingand they're singing.
♪ Auf Wiedersehen, good-bye
♪ Democracy, good-bye.
And it's like... right?
-But I feel like...-(Carlos laughs)
I feel like insteadof leading... instead of leading
everyone out of Nazi Germany,they're leading us in, right?
CARLOS (laughing):Into Nazi Germany.
That's the difference.
But it's just bizarre to me,you know.
This whole week has beenstrange, don't you think?
Well, they've been... they-theydid present the family...
-WILMORE: Yeah.-as, like, this-this... right...
this, like, this-this...this aristocracy...
WILMORE:Those are the characters, yeah.
...that you're supposedto be like,
why, look at sweet Ivanka,the princess.
-PARRA: Uh-huh.-And-and the boy can talk!
-You know what I mean, like,it's... -WILMORE: Right.
-It's, like, ridiculous.-Yeah, right.
-RUSHDIE: So, you know,except... -Yeah.
...one of them's a plagiarist.
-WILMORE: Yes.-PARRA: Right.
One-one of them goes to Africato shoot leopards and...
-WILMORE: Yeah. Lions.-...you-you know, elephants...
Why you-- why you gotto bring it down?
Why you got to do that?
WILMORE:No, but that's his family.
-No, you're right. -I'm justsaying, I'm glad it's...
-I'm glad it's not my family.-CARLOS: Yeah.
Do you think we're seeingthe end of the Republican party?
Well, seriously,I think that it's not that...
this is not a partythat Nixon would recognize
-or Reagan would recognize.-WILMORE: Mm-hmm.
You know, I mean, it seems awful
to think of Nixonas the good guy.
So, let me tell you...
No, Nixon is Einsteincompared to, uh...
no, guys, Trump is stupid,you guys!
-PARRA: Yeah, yeah.-He's stupid.
-PARRA: It's true.-CARLOS: Yeah, yeah.
And you have to know this!
Please, America, listen to me.
Trump is not a bright man.
It's worse thannot a bright man.
-CARLOS: Yeah.-He's stupid, you know?
-CARLOS: Yeah, he's...-PARRA: Yeah, actively dumb.
No, when-when they,when, the day
he was sittingwith The Washington Post,
I think it was nine reportersor something,
and I love Andrea Mitchellis telling the story
and the frustration on her face,
when they're-they're just tryingto ask him a question
about foreign policyand he changes the subject...
-CARLOS: Yeah.-...about how many votes he got.
And then the whole debaclewith NATO this week.
He-he thinks NATOis Liquid-Plumr,
like it's a household product.
-PARRA: Yeah.-He doesn't even...
I don't think he knowswhat NATO is.
-I don't think he does.-It's a mosquito repellant.
-I really don't. -I don't thinkhe knows what a treaty is.
-WILMORE: Yeah. Yes.-PARRA: Right. -CARLOS: Yeah.
You sign a treaty, it meansyou do what you agree to do.
-CARLOS: Correct.-PARRA: Right. -WILMORE: Yeah.
CARLOS: Yeah. He says it like,with the Balkan states, like,
"We have to look at ifthey're holding up their part
of the agreement with us,"and stuff like that.
-Which is crazy.-WILMORE: Right.
And then, I think he just thinksof the Balkans
as a place to shop for wives,
-first of all, so he doesn'treally think about... -Mm-hmm.
-Which for him it is, though.It actually is. -Yeah. Yeah.
-(applause and cheering) -Yeah,I mean, it's like literally...
That's, uh...that's how he understands it.
WILMORE:Everything is a transaction.
-PARRA AND CARLOS: Yes.-It's a business transaction.
CARLOS:He's a mercenary.
-Yeah. -Everything is, like,transactional.
-It's just not gonna work.-I read somewhere that he was
-planning to outsource...-WILMORE: Oh, yeah.
-...domestic and foreign policy-PARRA: Yes.
...to the vice president.-CARLOS: Oh...
-(laughter)-John Kasich. Yeah, yeah.
-Yeah.-You know? While he focuses
-on making America great.-WILMORE: Making America great!
-That's right.-PARRA: What does that mean?
-CARLOS & PARRA: What does thatmean? -WILMORE: Yeah, you didn't
see Obama saying, "You know,Biden, you govern. I'm gonna
-'Yes we can' everywhere."(mumbles) -(laughter)
-"I'm just gonna..."-RUSHDIE: Yeah.
"That's what I'm gonna do."
Could be at ribbon cuttings andthings like that and, like...
-What does that even mean?-I don't... -More golf courses.
-He's stupid is what I'm tellingyou, Salman. -PARRA: Yeah.
RUSHDIE:Yeah. It's, how do you
make America greatwhen you're not running it?
WILMORE: But what does that sayabout America right now
that we havea major political party
-that would choose this personas its leader? -RUSHDIE: It's...
That we have daddy issues?
-(laughter) -Daddy issues,you think? -Possibly.
We need a dadto just tuck us in at night.
WILMORE:I think they're worse
than daddy issues, you know.
You know, I mean, I'm gonna...Let me say something...
-WILMORE: Yes, please. -...whichis kind of unfashionable,
which is, I think he's goingto lose real heavily.
-WILMORE: You think so?-Yeah.
-WILMORE: Mm-hmm. I'm scared.-Um, and...
-(cheers and applause) -Mm-hmm.-Right. -RUSHDIE: I mean,
I think if you lookat the demographics,
-they don't look greatfor Trump. -WILMORE: Mm-hmm.
I mean, I can't see
that a large number of womenare going to vote for him.
-WILMORE: Mm-hmm. Yeah.-I can't see that...
I mean, I think he scoreda wonder...
He scored zero percentin Ohio recently amongst...
WILMORE:No, I hear you.
-...amongst black people. -Ihave to tell you, Mr. Rushdie,
that my only problem is thatyou're using your brain
right now,and you're using life...
-(laughter) -Yes.-WILMORE: I understand that.
-Yes. -But we're talkingabout Trump.
-RUSHDIE: We're talking... Yeah.-Nothing makes sense.
-Nothing. -No, nothingmakes sense, that's true.
That's where I'm gonna leave it.
-We'll be right there.-(cheers and applause)
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