Tom Rhodes - The Condom Generation

  • Season 5, Ep 6
  • 08/05/2001
  • Views: 1,341

These days, casual sex leads to a day of praying and scrubbing. (2:05)

GIRL RIGHT NOW.

I HOPE IT WORKS.

I DON'T EVER WANT TO BE SINGLE.

IT'S FRIGHTENING BEING SINGLE

IN TODAY'S WORLD, HUH?

WITH DISEASES THAT'LL KILL YOU.

DOING ANYTHING WITH ANYBODY NOW

YOU HAVE TO SPEND THE WHOLE NEXT

DAY PRAYING AND SCRUBBING.

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'RE IN THE SHOWER: OH, LORD,

OH, LORD I'LL WASH EVERYTHING

AGAIN REAL GOOD, LORD.

I'LL CLEAN MY POOPY HOLE

REAL GOOD, LORD.

'CAUSE THE LORD LIKES A CLEAN

POOPY HOLE, EVERYBODY.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT A THRILL TO BE A MEMBER OF

THE CONDOM GENERATION.

HMM?

DON'T YOU REALIZE EVERY

HUMAN BEING IN THE HISTORY OF

HUMAN BEINGS GOT TO FEEL WHAT IT

FELT LIKE TO MAKE LOVE NATURALLY

AND I PUT A BALLOON ON MY

(BLEEP).

WHAT A HAPPY PERIOD IN HUMAN

HISTORY TO BE LIVING THROUGH.

AND THAT OH SO ROMANTIC MOMENT

WHEN YOU TURN TO YOUR LOVER:

EXCUSE ME LOVER, WHILE I ROLL

A BALLOON ON MY (BLEEP).

AND TRY TO KEEP AN ERECTION

THROUGH THE SHAME AND

EMBARRASSMENT OF YOU WATCHING ME

ROLL A BALLOON ON MY DICK.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

BECAUSE WHO KNOWS WHERE YOU'VE

BEEN YOU LITTLE TRAMP.

(LAUGHTER)

WHERE IS THE DIGNITY, MAN, HUH?

LAST YEAR I HAD A PURPLE CONDOM.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS PURPLE,

I JUST OPENED THE PACKAGE AND IT

POPPED OUT AND IT WAS PURPLE.

COME ON, SOMETHING LIKE THAT

SHOULD BE CLEARLY MARKED,

DON'T YOU AGREE?

I MEAN, YOU'VE GOT TO BE REAL

CLOSE WITH A WOMAN TO COME AT

HER WITH A PURPLE (BLEEP).

IF YOU DIDN'T WRITE "WHEN DOVES

CRY", YOU BETTER NOT BE POKING

A PURPLE (BLEEP) AT ANYBODY.

OR UNLESS YOU'RE BARNEY THE

CHILDREN'S DINOSAUR.

YOU KNOW, HEY, AS LONG AS IT'S

COLOR COORDINATED.

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