Jeff Dunham - Walter - Haunted House

Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity Season 1, Ep 0101 09/23/2007 Views: 1,079,341

I thought, "What would Jesus do?" So, I turned her into a fish. (2:29)

Jeff: WHAT'S WRONG

WITH YOU TONIGHT ?

Walter: I DON'T KNOW,

I'M JUST PISSED.

I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME.

Jeff: WHY NOT ?

Walter: I THINK MY

HOUSE IS HAUNTED.

Jeff: WHY DO YOU THINK THAT ?

Walter: MY WIFE IS THERE.

I WALK IN THE FRONT DOOR

AND ALL I HEAR IS,

"GET OUT !"

Jeff: YOU GUYS GOT INTO

ANOTHER ARGUMENT ON

THE PHONE TODAY, DIDN'T YA ?

Walter: OH, YOU HEARD A LITTLE

BIT OF THAT, DID YA ?

Jeff: OH, YEAH.

Walter: YEAH.

I HUNG UP ON 'ER !

Jeff: NOT GOOD.

Walter: NO.

SHE CALLED RIGHT BACK,

AND SHE GOES, "DID YOU

HANG UP ON ME ?"

AND I SAID, "I DON'T KNOW,

DID IT SOUND SOMETHING

LIKE THIS ?" CLICK.

Jeff: DID THAT MAKE HER ANGRY ?

Walter: OH, I FELT

A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE.

Jeff: YOU EVER MADE HER THAT

MAD WHEN YOU'RE STANDING

RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER ?

Walter: OH. YEAH.

Jeff: WHAT'D YOU DO ?

Walter: WELL, MY MOTHER ALWAYS

TOLD ME, "WHEN YOU'RE IN A JAM

"AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,

"YOU SHOULD THINK:

'WHAT WOULD JESUS DO ?'"

SO I TRIED TO TURN

HER INTO A FISH.

I STOOD THERE GOING,

"BE GONE, SATAN !

"HELLO, SHAMU !"

WELL, AT LEAST SHAMU

ONLY HAS ONE BLOWHOLE.

AH, SCREW YOU, THAT WAS FUNNY.

LOOK, IT'S THE C.I.A.

I SEE YOU !

WE CAN ALL SEE YOU !

YOU KNOW, THE SHOW LOOKS A LOT

BETTER FROM THE FRONT.

IS THE DIRECTOR DRUNK ?

WHAT THE HELL ?