Prescott Tolk - Sex Instructional Videotape

  • Season 9 , Ep 911
  • 02/10/2006
  • Views: 4,101

Prescott Tolk tries to better himself. (2:13)

I ALWAYS BEGIN WITH SOME ADVICE.AND IF I COULD OFFER ANY IT'S,

WATCH OUT FOR THESE SCAMS.

TRUST ME, I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I GET RIPPED OFF ALL THE TIME.I AM THE BIGGEST SUCKER.

I ONCE LOST THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN THIS

"GET RICH QUICK" SCHEME. IT'S CALLED COLLEGE.

OH MY GOD. WHAT A RIP OFF THAT IS, HUH?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

TELL ME IF I'M WRONG. THIS IS HOW COLLEGE WORKS.

YOU BUY BOOKS FOR $300.YOU DON'T READ THEM.

AND YOU RETURN THEM FOR $15.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND YOU FEEL SO GOOD TOO, ONCE YOU GOT THAT $15 BACK,

BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN DRINK.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL BY LOOKING AT ME,

BUT I AM NOT A GREAT LOVER. I'M NOT.

I'M A PRETTY DECENT LOVER, BUT I'M NOT A GREAT LOVER.

I WANNA BE A GREAT LOVER. I DO.

I WENT OUT, I GOT THISINSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOTAPE.

SEX INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEOTAPE. COST ME LIKE $19.95.

IT ACTUALLYSHOWS YOU MOVE FOR MOVEHOW TO PLEASURE A WOMAN.

I GOT IT LIKE TWO WEEKS AGO. I DON'T REALLY KNOW

IF THE VIDEOTAPE IS GONNA HELP ME MAKE A WOMAN ORGASM.

WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT THIS VIDEOTAPE

HAS HELPED ME MAKE MYSELF ORGASM.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO I THINK I GOT MY MONEY'S WORTH ON THAT ONE

- IS ALL I'M SAYING. - [LAUGHTER]

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS WITH MEN. I REALLY DON'T.

I THINK IT COMES DOWN TO YOU'RE EITHER COOL OR YOU'RE NOT COOL.

AND LET ME JUST SAY, DRUGS DO NOT MAKE YOU COOL,

IT'S THE PEOPLE YOU DO THEM WITH THAT MAKE YOU COOL.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU LEARN THAT TOO LATE, UNFORTUNATELY. PERSONALLY, I'LL BE HONEST WITH YOU.

I USED TO SMOKE POT FROM TIME TO TIME.

SPECIFICALLY FROM LIKE NOON TO EIGHT.

IT WAS LIKE A FULL-TIME JOB FOR A WHILE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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