Unfortunately,I've been dating...
I know, I know.
Yeah, check me out.
I've been dating the same girlfor a while.
Occasionally we still fight.
'Cause, you know,there's still arguments.
Every relationship,you have arguments.
the bitches be crazy!
That's not why.
Arguments happen 'cause,as we all know,
inside the women's left ovary--this is just a fact--
there lives a tiny dwarf, um,
who e-mails complaintsdirectly to the mouth
and... it just kind of, like,
uh... and it just, waah,it comes out.
Waah. There's no sense...it's just, like--
"Where were you tonight?Waah?"-- comes out.
No... It's just, that's a fact.
Men don't have ovaries,so we store our complaints
in a tumor in our colon.
That's just... biology.
You can look that up.
Not on the Internet,'cause the Internet's
just a waste of timepretty much anyway.
You ever find what you'relooking for on the Internet?
Never. It's useless. It's filth.
You're, like, "I want to learnhow to make a pie."
You get 12 photos of a guyhitting his balls with a hammer.
You're, like, "What does thathave to do with pi..."
Using the Internet'slike trying to get help
from a retarded librarian.
"Do you have any Stephen King?"
"I pooped in the cupboard."