President-Elect Trump Takes On the Media

January 10, 2017 - Aasif Mandvi 01/10/2017 Views: 96,830

As Donald Trump gears up for his first press conference since the 2016 election, Trevor imagines how the president-elect will respond to the media's questioning. (6:24)

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And so to preparefor the inauguration,

tomorrow Trump is going to be

working outsome of his material.

Tomorrow,Donald Trump is expected

to holdhis first news conference

since becoming president-electof the United States.

The first Trump news conferencein more than five months.

Yes!

Finally!

Finally. Donald Trump is goingto give a press conference!

He's gonna give a...Or, as he calls it,

"tweeting out of the mouth."

(laughter)

Now, I can understandsome people may not think

a Trump press conferenceis a big deal.

Partly because it feels like henever stops talking, you know?

If anything, some people arelike, "Hey, can we just have

a press conference of silence?Can we just have that?"

But, I mean, think about it.

We know moreabout Donald Trump, right?

We know more about Donald Trump

than we knowabout most people in power.

We know that he prefers RobertPattinson to Kristen Stewart.

Uh, we know that he thinks

Diet Coke is a scam.

Which is really sad.

And, as of last week, wenow know that he calls himself

the "DJT ratings machine."

That's a real thing he said.

The ratings machine, DJT.

Just think,in another week and a half,

that'll bePresident DJT Ratings Machine.

(laughter)

That's gonna be him. At theUnited Nations, they'll be like,

"Le Presidente... (mimicking foreign language)

la Germany, Angela Merkel!

Le Presidente United States...

DJT Ratings Machine!

He's gonna come inwith the lights bouncing.

(imitating techno dance music)

(like Trump):Wrong.

This is...this is why I'm so excited

about the press conference.

I don't knowif I'm the only one.

Because, like,we don't need more information

from Donald Trumpabout Diet Coke, all right?

But when it comes to mattersof geopolitical importance,

tweets just haven't been enough.

TV REPORTER: Chicago murder rate is record setting.

If mayor can't do it, he must ask for federal help,

exclamation point.

Come up with a healthcare planthat really works,

much less expensive and farbetter, exclamation point.

TV REPORTER: United Nations has such great potential

but right now it is just a club for people to get together,

talk and have a good time.

So sad, exclamation point.

TV REPORTER: North Korea just stated that it is

in the final stages of developing a nuclear weapon

capable of reaching parts of the U.S.

It won't happen, exclamation mark.

Is anyone else concerned,question mark?

(laughter)

Even Kim Jong-un is probablyreading this on Twitter, like,

I don't want to be judge-y,but I think this guy's unhinged.

This press conferenceis gonna be explosive,

if you think about it, you know?

Think, just think for a moment.

It's the most powerful pressin the world

going up against the mostpowerful question dodger

of all time.

Yeah, and Trump hates the press.

Forget Mexico.

Forget Hillary.

Forget large door handles.

To him, the pressis public enemy number one.

The press is dishonest.

They're very dishonest people.

Lying, thieving people.

Most of it, 70%, 75%,

is absolute dishonest,

absolute scum.

Remember that, scum.

-Do we hate the media?-CROWD: Yes!

World Star!

(cheering, applause)

I actually feel badfor the press,

because, look, we all, we allthink we'd do a better job

in a room with Donald Trump,

but it's probably a lot harderthan you think, you know?

And this press conferenceis coming up, and,

and, you know, it's alsointeresting that Trump

has put it on the same daythat all of his hearings

are taking place, you know?

'Cause he knows you can't lookat two things at the same time.

But the press, so much pressureon their shoulders.

And-and it's not like you can doany better.

In fact, let's-let'splay a little game.

I'll play Donald Trump,and the studio audience,

you guys, you can all bethe crooked media.

(laughter and applause)

Okay, first of all,let me just say,

welcome, everybody,to my press conference.

We're doing it now.

I hope you've gotyour questions.

Press, any questions,ask them now.

Yes, ma'am.

How can the American peoplebe confident

that you don't have anyconflicts of interest

if you won't releaseyour tax returns?

Okay, first of all, firstof all, what's your name?

-Julie.-Stupid name.

That is a stupid, stupid,corrupt, dishonest name, Julie.

I got business--it's so easy to diverse.

If-- I could do it right now.I could do it now.

Diverse, diverse.It's gone.

It's gone. I could do it now.

I told you in a tweet, that isthe problem with the media.

Did I answer your question,Julie?

-No.-Exactly.

Exactly, 'cause you're stupid.Sit down, Julie.

Next question.Who's next? Who's next?

You've said that U.S. citizensaccused of terrorism

should be sent to Gitmo andtried by military tribunal.

Can you justify that onconstitutional grounds?

Okay, first of all,what is that accent?

Where are you from? Okay?

Yeah, Guantanamo is totallygoing to be open,

and you're going to be in it,my friend, okay?

You're gonna be in it,and you tell all your friends

you're gonna be in it.

Okay, next up.

Who's next? Who's next?

Um, you proposed an ideologicaltest for immigrants.

What would be on that test?

Okay, it's very simple,very simple.

Immigrant comes in, just say,

Hey, are you going to blow(bleep) up?

If they say yes, we're like, no.

Go away.

Okay?

And then, like, you go, like,are you sure?

And then they're, like, yeah.

Do you understand? Youunderstand what I'm saying?

-No. -Do you understandwhat I'm saying?

That's why you're not president,sit down.

That's why you're not president.

All right, folks, that's allwe've got time for today.