Deploying the Doe-coy

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 03/13/2014
  • Views: 2,988

When Forrest goes hunting, he brings along his intern and his father-in-law but severely miscalculates what animals they'll encounter and the kind of equipment they'll need. (2:32)

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IN THE ANGELES CRESTNATIONAL FOREST,

A PLACE WHERE I CAN FINDAN ANIMAL AND SLAY IT

AND SKIN ITAND THEN DEVOUR IT.

AND I'M HERE UNDER COVEROF DARKNESS

BECAUSE THERE SIMPLYWASN'T TIME

TO ARRANGEFOR THE NECESSARY PERMITS,

AND SO WE'RE--WE'RE JUST DOING IT THIS WAY.

I'M ACCOMPANIEDBY MY FATHER-IN-LAW,

JACK WALTHALL,WHO BROUGHT ALONG THE RIFLE

AND THE HUNTING SMARTS AND ALSOTHE RUGGED INDIVIDUALISM

OF A BYGONE ERA, RIGHT?

- HELLO.- VERY GOOD.

NOW, JACK, YOU HAD A VERY

INTERESTING AND SORT OFCLEVER-SOUNDING HUNTING PLOY.

YOU CARE TO SHARE THAT WITH US?- OH.

WELL, IT'S NOT REALLYMY IDEA, FORREST.

IT'S S.O.P.--IT'S STANDARDOPERATING...SOMETHING ELSE.

- UH, RIGHT.

- IT'S DOE'S SCENT.

IT'S ESTRUS URINE OF A DOE.

NOW, THIS WILL ATTRACT A BUCK,AND THEN ALL YOU NEED TO DO

IS FIRE A BULLET OFFAT HIS VITAL ORGANS,

AND YOU'RE IN BUSINESS.- YES, GOOD. OKAY.

VERY GOOD.THAT'S PRETTY INGENIOUS.

I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE,BUT I'M ABOUT TO TAKE IT

A BIG STEP FORWARD.

JOSH, WILL YOU PLEASE BRINGTHE DOE-COY OUT HERE, WON'T YOU?

- OKAY.- I HAPPENED TO BE IN POSSESSION

OF A NONRETURNABLE$4,000 SEX DOLL,

AND I WAS EAGER TO FINDALTERNATE USES FOR HER.

HER SPECIFIC TALENT SEEMEDPERFECT FOR TONIGHT'S MISSION.

- WHAT IS THAT?

IT LOOKS LIKEA BEAUTIFUL DEAD LADY.

- YES, WELL, ON ANY OTHER NIGHT,PERHAPS, BUT TONIGHT SHE IS

THE SEXIEST DOE IN ALLOF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA.

OH, THAT LOOKS GREAT!

THAT'S EVEN BETTER THANI THOUGHT IT WOULD LOOK.

- I'VE SEEN WORSE IN BARS,I'LL TELL YOU.

- [laughs]- YOU HAVE?

- THAT'S FANTASTIC.

HEY, COME AND GET HER,ALL YOU BUCKS!

TRUST ME, SHE'S NO PRUDE![laughter]

- SHE'S INTO WHATEVERYOU'RE INTO!

[laughter]- THAT'S GREAT.

HEY, JOSH, YOU BROUGHTTHE BOLT CUTTERS, RIGHT?

- YEAH, YEAH.- OKAY, GOOD.

IN TRUTH, THE IDEA OF A FIREARM

IN THE HANDSOF A 75-YEAR-OLD MAN

IN LOW-VISIBILITY CONDITIONS

MADE ME TERRIBLY NERVOUS,BUT I WAS DETERMINED

TO CARRY ON FOR THE SAKEOF HUMAN UNDERSTANDING.

WELL, IT DOES SEEMA LITTLE BIT CRUEL

TO GET THE BUCKS' HOPES UPLIKE THIS, YOU KNOW?

THEY THINK THEY'RE GONNA GETSOME ACTION, RIGHT?

[chuckles]BUT WHEN YOU'RE HUNTING,

YOU USE EVERY TOOLAT YOUR DISPOSAL, RIGHT?

WHETHER IT'S A GUNOR A SUPERIOR INTELLECT.

NOW, MY QUESTION IS,WHERE THE BEST PLACE--

[tiger roars]OH!

[all screaming, tiger roaring]

- WHAT THE HECK?- MR. MACNEIL!

[screaming, animals roaring]

- WHAT'S HAPPENED?MR. MACNEIL!

- HE'S EATING ME!

[screams][animals screeching]

- MR. MACNEIL, WHERE ARE YOU?- FORREST, WHERE ARE YOU?

- THE TIGER IS ATTACKING ME!

THIS IS A GOD DAMN TIGER!- I GOT HIM! I GOT HIM!

- HE'S OVER THERE!- OH, GOD!

- OH, MY [bleep] GOD!

[tiger growls]- THERE'S A [bleep] TIGER!

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?- NO!

- WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP?

- SHOOT THE TIGER!- OH.

STAND BACK.- [screams]

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