Steve McGrew - Parent Sex

  • Season 9, Ep 1
  • 09/24/2004
  • Views: 14,261

It's gross to think of your parents having sex. (2:26)

YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS HAD SEX,

WE'RE HERE.

YOU JUST DIDN'T EVER WAN THEM

TO HAVE SEX LIKE US.

YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THAT LITTLE WOMAN WHO WARMED

MY OATMEAL ISN'T GOING,

"GIVE ME ALL 18 WHEELS, YOU BIG

TRUCKER!"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOUR PARENTS DID IT THEY DID

IT DIFFERENT, "PLLLT, I'M DONE."

"ME, TOO, TURN ON MATLOCK."

"I'LL GET US SOME TUMS."

[BELCHES]

YA KNOW.

YOUR PARENTS WEREN'T LIKING IT,

THEY'RE NOT HAVING WILD,

YOU KNOW, PIG SEX.

[SQUEALING NOISES]

[LAUGHTER]

SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE STARING

AT ME LIKE, "WHAT THE HELL ARE

YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I JUST THINK THERE'S TWO

TECHNIQUES, THERE'S MAKING LOVE

AND THERE'S PIG SEX, THAT'S IT.

MAKING LOVE IS WHEN YOU GOT

SOMEONE YOU LOVE, YOU CARE

ABOUT.

YOU WANT TO HOLD AND BE GENTLE

AND DO WHAT SHE LIKES.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

AND THEN THERE'S [SQUEALING]

[SMACK] "WHO'S YOUR FARMER?!"

[SQUEALING CONTINUES]

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SEE YOU'RE SMILIN', YOU KNOW

WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

ALL RIGHT, PIG SEX ISN'T THE

RIGHT WORD BUT YOU KNOW WHAT

I'M TALKING ABOUT.

THAT'S THE WILD NIGHT.

THAT'S THE NIGHT WHEN YOU WALK

IN, "BABY, LOCK THE DOOR,

WE GONNA BUST SOME FURNITURE

IN HERE TONIGHT!"

[LAUGHTER]

"YOU'RE LOOKING DAMN FINE IN

THAT GARFIELD T-SHIRT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

OH, IT'S THE LION KING TONIGHT."

[ROARS]

OH, YEAH, FOR YOU SINGLE GUYS

THAT'S MARRIED-MAN LINGERIE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU DON'T GET A LOT OF SEXY

LINGERIE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED.

THERE'S NO REASON TO BAIT THE

HOOK THE FISH IS IN THE BOAT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU COULD WALK PAST A LINGERIE

STORE "I LIKE THAT."

"GOOD FOR YOU."

[LAUGHTER]

"WHY DON'T YOU TRY WEARING THAT

UNCOMFORTABLE [BLEEP]?"

"YEAH, YOU WOULD YOU CREEPY

BASTARD."

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU LADIES

COMPLAIN ABOUT NASTY LINGERIE.

IT NEVER STAYS ON THAT LONG.

WE JUST LOOK AT YOU.

"GOD YOU'RE FINE, GET THAT OFF."

[RIPPING NOISE & PIG SQUEALS]

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"I DON'T LIKE THE WAY I LOOK

IN IT."

IT, IT'S NOT FOR YOU.

"I'M NOT SLEEPING IN THAT."

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT.

[LAUGHTER]

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