Black Monsters - Uncensored

  • Season 3, Ep 3
  • 07/23/2006
  • Views: 546,573

Charlie Murphy's Frankenstein encounters racism in the office. (4:16)

- YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY,BLOCKHEAD.

WHAT'S UP?

- GOT A MEETINGWITH MY BOSS TODAY,

AND I THINK I'M ABOUTTO GET THAT PROMOTION.

- NIGGA, I THOUGHT YOU SAIDYOUR BOSS WAS A RACIST.

- YOU KNOW,I THINK HE IS A RACIST,

BUT I'M ABOUT TO GETPROMOTED ANYWAY.

BECAUSE OF THE HARD WORKI PUT IN,

I'M GETTING READY TO BECOMEOFFICE MANAGER.

I TELL YOUSOMETHING ELSE TOO.

IF I WAS A WHITE MAN,I'D BE TAKING HIS JOB.

- MORNING, FELLAS.

- HEY, WOLFIE,WHAT'D I TELL YOU

ABOUT NOT WEARING NO PANTSAROUND THE HOUSE?

- AW, C'MON DOG.

- AY, C'MON, MAN, YOU SCRATCHINGYOUR BALLS OVER MY BREAKFAST!

- YOU GOT BALL HAIRON TOP OF YOUR HEAD!

- [laughs]- THAT'S NOT A JOKE.

THAT IS BALL HAIR.THAT'S COARSE.

EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN.I'M SORRY. I'M A LITTLE ON EDGE.

I'M NERVOUS.I GOT A BIG DATE TODAY.

- WHAT?- A DATE?

- ALL RIGHT,I DIDN'T SAY NOTHING,

'CAUSE I FEEL A LITTLEUNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT.

SHE'S WHITE.

- YOU COME IN HERE WITH YOURTAIL WAGGIN' OVER A WHITE WOMAN?

- C'MON, DOG, LISTEN,THIS IS THE FIRST DATE I HAD

SINCE THATWEREWOLF BIT ME ON THE SUBWAY.

SISTERS DON'TUNDERSTAND THIS!

ONLY THING NICE A SISTERSAID TO ME

SINCE I BEEN A GODDAMN WEREWOLF

IS THAT I GOT PRETTY HAIR,AND I'M TIRED OF THAT SHIT!

SO IF YOU DON'T ACCEPT MEAND ACCEPT THE PEOPLE I LOVE,

LIKE I ACCEPT YOU,YOU FUCKIN' FRANKENSTEIN,

AND YOU, YOU FUCKIN'GAUZE-WRAPPED, STANKY-ASS,

3,000-YEAR-OLD MUMMY--

YES, I KNOW ABOUT YOU--THEN I'M GONNA BE UPSET!

NOW IF YOU GUYSWILL EXCUSE ME...

- I'M GETTING THE HELLOUT OF HERE MYSELF.

- I GOTTA GO SEEMY PROBATION OFFICER.

- FRANK...

HAVE A SEAT.

- YES, SIR.PLEASED TO BE HERE.

- FRANK, I DON'T WANT TO BEATAROUND THE BUSH.

I'VE BEEN GETTINGA LOT OF COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOU

FROM YOUR CO-WORKERS.

- WHAT KIND OF COMPLAINTS?

- WELL, AMONGST OTHER THINGS,CONFLICT RESOLUTION.

- THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!

- UH...

- [roaring]

WHAT ELSE DID THEYTELL YOU?

- THEY WERE AFRAIDOF YOUR VIOLENT OUTBURSTS.

YOU'VE BROKEN A LOTOF FURNITURE, FRANK.

I'M AFRAID I HAVETO LET YOU GO.

- [growling]

LISTEN UP!

YOU RACIST BACKSTABBERS!

SORRY Y'ALL AIN'T EVOLVED ENOUGH

TO HANDLE A STRONG BLACK MANAROUND THE OFFICE.

LET METELL YOU SOMETHING.

- FRANK, FRANK,YOU GOTTA RELAX.

YOU'RE WITH FRIENDS, OKAY?I LOVE YOU.

WE ALL LOVE YOU.

WE JUST DON'T WANT ANYBODYTO GET HURT, YOU UNDERSTAND?

- YAAAH!- AAAGH!

- SON OF A BITCH!

SON OF A BITCH!GOD DAMN IT!

- ARGH!

NOW ALL Y'ALL KNOW I'M THEHARDEST WORKER IN THE BUSINESS.

I'M TIRED OF TIPTOEINGAROUND THIS OFFICE

SO Y'ALL RACISTSCAN BE COMFORTABLE.

YOU SCAREDOF BLACK PEOPLE?

WELL,THAT'S YOUR PROBLEM!

MY COLOR SHOULDN'T EVENBE AN ISSUE.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT ME,ALL YOU SHOULD SEE IS A MAN...

NOT A BLACK MAN!

- NIGGA,YOU A FRANKENSTEIN!

- AW, SHUT UP, SLAVE.

- HELLO, POLICE?

SOMEONE'S GOING BERSERKIN OUR OFFICE.

HE'S BLACK.

- FREEZE!

- COME ON,LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

GO ON, DO WHAT YOU GON' DO!IMPRESS YOUR WHITE FRIENDS!

- FIRE ONE SHOT.

- FIRING ONE SHOT.

[gunshot]- OW!

OH, DAMN.AAGH!

DAMN SLAVE!

YOU IS A SLAVE!

Y'ALL OUGHTTO GET TOGETHER.

GO OUT TO LUNCH.

HAVE COLD GRITSOR SOMETHIN' TO EAT.

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