Sebastian Maniscalco - Sushi Dinner

  • Season 12, Ep 4
  • 01/17/2008
  • Views: 11,834

Guys can't let on that the restaurant bill is a problem on a first date. (2:27)

WE DO ALL THIS STUFFDURIN' THE DAY

AND WE COME TO NIGHTTIME,

WE START COMIN'TO EVENTS LIKE THIS,

START BRINGIN' OUR LADY, DATING.IT'S FUN, RIGHT?

FIRST DATE, THAT'S THE BIG ONE.

WHAT DO WENORMALLY DO GUYS, DINNER?

SUSHI. YEAH.LAST WEEK, FIRST DATE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SUSHI COSTS.I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH IT IS.

CHICKEN, SALAD, STEAK,I KNOW WHAT THAT GOES FOR.

A DYNAMITE ROLL,I HAVE NO IDEA WHATTHE HELL THAT IS.

BECAUSE WHAT WE'RE DOING,LADIES, ON THE DATE,

IS WE'RE TRYING TO FIGURE OUTHOW MUCH THE BILL IS IN OUR HEAD

BEFORE IT COMES TO THE TABLE.

IT'S A LITTLE GAMEWE PLAY UP HERE, RIGHT?

YOU DON'T KNOW IT'S HAPPENING.

SO, I'M GUESSTIMATINGTHIS IS ABOUT $120 MEAL.THE BILL COMES, RIGHT.

AND, LIKE, A SILENCECOMES OVER THE TABLE, RIGHT?

SO, THE BILL COMES.I DO THE QUICK PEEK,

YEAH THE, WHOOSH-WHOOSH.

IT'S WHAT WE DOON THE FIRST DATE.

WE DON'T LOOK AT IT LIKEIT'S A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY.

WE ACT LIKE ITDIDN'T EVEN COME TO THE TABLE.

SO, I SAW THE TOTAL, $256.

I CLOSED ITAND THEN I STARTED SWEATING...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ON THE INSIDE OF MY BODY HERE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

BECAUSE ON THE FIRST DATE,YOU CAN'T LET ON

THAT THAT TOTALMIGHT BOTHER YOU.

YOU HAVE TO TAKETHAT POKER FACE.

BUT IF YOU'RE MARRIEDAND YOU GET A BILL LIKE THAT...

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU'LL FLIP IT OVER."CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP?!"

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS,WHISTLES AND APPLAUSE]

"TWO HUNDRED AND FI--WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT?!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

"YOU BETTER TAKE AGOOD LOOK AT THIS PLACE.

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