Woke Baby: A Women's March Legend

Monday, January 23, 2017 01/23/2017 Views: 318

Rich Eisen, Jade Catta-Preta and Kevin Nealon decipher a baby's scribbled protest sign at the Women's March. (2:33)

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On Friday, we saw theinauguration of Donald Trump,

-our 45th commander-in-chief.-(laughter)

While his inaugurationwas lightly attended

compared to Obama's, thisSaturday's massive women's march

-took placeon all seven continents... -Oh!

...and also the underwaterkingdom of Atlantis.

And some experts are saying,

almost five million peoplemarched worldwide. It was great.

I was in San Francisco for it.It was an incredible event.

And, uh, and-andI was really, um, moved

by the sense of communityand the joy

and the people coming togetherfor something they believed.

It was really, really lovelyup in San Francisco.

Social media went crazy

for all the creativeprotest signs like...

"CBS Donald Trumpapproval rating 32%.

Rotten Tomatoes Paul Blart: Mall Cop 33%."

(applause and cheering)


JADE CATTA-PRETA:That's a great sign.

Or this one--"Ovaries before brovaries."

(laughter, applause & cheering)

Or this very British signfrom a march in the UK.

(with English accent): "I'mreally quite cross about this."

(laughter, applause & cheering)

I'm sure on the other sideit just says,

(with English accent):"Donald Trump is a (bleep)."

-Because they can say thosethings over there. -(laughter)

By far the greatest heroof the march was a legend

we only know as "Woke Baby."

-Now...-CATTA-PRETA: Aw.

(cheers and applause)

This baby is super woke.

Usually babies are very crankywhen they're woke.

Now in case you can't quite seethis profound message,

let's take a closer look.

-This is what it says.-Yeah. -(laughter)

-CATTA-PRETA: Yes, yes, yes!-HARDWICK: Obviously...

KEVIN NEALON: I've never seenemojis like that before.

-HARDWICK: This crazy emoji,yeah. -Yeah, yeah. Yeah. -Yeah.

-CATTA-PRETA: An artist. -Thisis basically just a baby's brain

-firing, uh. Obviously...-CATTA-PRETA: He's angry.

It is. Well, obviously,Woke Baby's intellect

is a few years aheadof her motor skills,

so, comedians, what do you think

Woke Baby was trying to saywith the sign?

-Rich. -We're here, we're wet.Deal with it.

-HARDWICK: All right, points.Points. -(laughter, applause)

-Jade. -Oh, first of all,thank you for having me

-while abortion is still legal.-HARDWICK: Oh, good.

-So, thank you so much. Um...-(laughter)

-What does that have to dowith...? -Just really exciting.

-You have to be somewhere afterthe show? -Yeah, yeah, yeah.

-I got to go get an abortion.Yeah. Yeah. -Oh... an abortion.

Get 'em quick, you guys.Now's the time. Get 'em.

-(laughter) -JADE CATTA-PRETA:Get 'em now. -Yeah.

Gender is a social construct.

Also, I got some fresh poopyin my pants.

-HARDWICK: Yeah.-(laughter, applause & cheering)

-Kevin Nealon.-NEALON: Ooh! Got in

just in time.Also, thanks for having me, too.


-HARDWICK: No. Listen...-For no particular reason.

The sign actually says,"My hands

-are the same size as Trump's.-All right, points. Points.