Paul Gilmartin - Getting Along

  • Season 8, Ep 25
  • 05/27/2004
  • Views: 2,203

Fundamentalist Muslims and Americans just need to spend some time together. (2:13)

MIDDLE EAST LATELY.

I'M TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHY THE

FUNDAMENTALIST MUSLIMS HATE US.

AND I THINK THE PROBLEM IS THEY

JUST HAVE STEREOTYPES OF US.

WE JUST HAVE STEREOTYPES OF

THEM.

THAT'S ALL WE HAVE TO GO ON,

AND UNTIL WE SPEND TIME AROUND

EACH OTHER, THAT'S NEVER GOING

TO CHANGE, THAT'S ALL WE WILL

HAVE IS STEREOTYPES, THE FACT

THAT WE ARE DECENT PEOPLE, WILL

NEVER BE REALIZED BY THESE

DESERT APES.

[LAUGHTER]

I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING THAT

MIGHT BE THE REASON WHY PEOPLE

DON'T LIKE US IN THE MIDDLE EAST

IS THE FACT THAT OUR PRESIDENT

INVADED A COUNTRY BASED ON THE

FACT THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE

NUCULAR WEAPONS.

NOT NUCLEAR.

NUCULAR IS HOW HE PRONOUNCES

IT.

YOU KNOW, HOW DO YOU REALLY

CONSIDER YOURSELF AN EXPERT WHEN

YOU CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE THE

WORD CORRECTLY?

HOW ARE LONG ARE YOU GOING TO

SIT AND LISTEN TO A DOCTOR TELL

YOU YOU'VE GOT CANKER?

[LAUGHTER]

WE DISCOVERED IT IN YOUR

COLOGNE.

WE FEAR IT'S SPREAD TO YOUR

ESOPHAJUICE.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M RECOMMENDING CHEMOTHEROPY.

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

AND DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THIS

YOU'RE UNPATRIOTIC BULL[BLEEP].

I LOVE THIS COUNTRY.

I THINK THIS IS THE GREATEST

COUNTRY ON EARTH.

THAT'S WHY I FEEL SO PASSIONATE

ABOUT [BLEEP].

AND I'M NOT MR. ANTI-WAR,

I THINK SOMETIMES YOU'VE GOT

TO PUT YOUR FOOT IN A COUNTRY'S

ASS.

I THINK AFGHANISTAN WAS TOTALLY

CALLED FOR.

I WAS ACTUALLY PROUD.

I THOUGHT THERE WAS A BEAUTIFUL

IRONY IN THE FACT THAT WE HAD

FEMALE PILOTS DROPPING BOMBS

ON THE TALIBAN.

I LOVE THAT.

I THOUGHT THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD

LITTLE PAMPHLETS AFTERWARDS

THEY DROPPED THAT SAID, "THIS

BOMB WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY

JENNIFER, WHO ENJOYS DRINKING,

SMOKING, AND PREMARITAL SEX.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

SUCK ON THAT, YOU SEXIST

MOTHER[BLEEP].

NOW NORMALLY AM I DRIVING,

I'M BOMBING YOUR ASS."

[LAUGHTER]

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