Noe Gonzalez - Young Stuff

  • Season 1 , Ep 104
  • 10/20/2011
  • Views: 4,115

Even though Noe Gonzalez's ex-girlfriend watched the cooking channel all the time, she wouldn't cook anything. (2:42)

It doesn't matterhow old you are.

I still play video games-- Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

on PlayStation 3.

(cheering)Yeah.

And my ex-girlfriendthought I was going crazy

'cause I was playingall the time.

She thought it was affectingmy brain, you know.

She goes,"Are you going to kill me?

"'Cause that's all you dois play the game.

"You wake up, and you play it.

Are you going to shootsomebody?"

I'm like,"What are you talking about?

"You watch the Cooking Channelall the time.

You don't cook anything."

(laughter, applause)

She was like, "Oh, yeah?You watch porn all the time,

and you still don't knowhow to have sex."

(laughter, cheering)

"I'm sorry, babe!"

That's when yougot to be nice, huh?

"I'm sorry, babe. I'm sorry!

"I'm sorry!

Could you make me a sandwich?"

"I don't know how to cook.Remember?"

Everybody's tryingto look tougher with tattoos.

People are gettingthe slave tattoos.

Guys, right?That's what guys get.

Look at that man, I got itall the way to my... right there

to my wrist, bro.

And, ladies,you're doing that, too.

Is that sexy, ladies?Is that really...

(women shouting)Yeah, you like that? All right.

Yeah, it's sexy!Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Right? I don't know, man,'cause it's kind of weird,

you know what I mean?Guys, we're kissing women

and kissing on the skinright here, skin,

all of sudden it's a cemetery,all of a sudden it's...

a pirate ship."Why'd you stop?"

"I didn't want to giveJack Sparrow a hickey."

(laughter)

And I just got a little dog.

I haven't named him yet.

I like the waywhite people name their pets.

You name 'em after real people.

You're like,"This is my dog Benjamin."

Latinos-- we don't carewhat we name our pet.

We'll name it after any object.

I went overto my cousin's house.

"Hey, bro, I just got a new dog,he's right over here.

"Spark Plug!

Sparky!"

Black people-- you always getbig old tough dogs, huh?

Rottweilers, pit bullsright there...

(barks)

I've never seen a black guywith a cat.

(laughter)

I've never seen a black guyin the street

in the middle of the nightlooking for his cat.

"Where'd you go, kitty kitty?!

"Come on, kitty kitty!

Boots!"

(laughter and applause)

(cheering and applause)

"Boots!

"Where's my little pussy at?

"Here, kitty kitty, here,kitty kitty kitty!

Aw, kitty kitty."

"Here you go, sir,I found your cat."

"Oh, thanks, Little Man."

"Anytime."

(cheering and applause)

Loading...