Gregg Rogell - Terrorism in North Dakota

  • Season 7 , Ep 24
  • 07/31/2003
  • Views: 12,896

Terrorism can't happen in North Dakota -- you have to build a civilization first. (1:26)

WHEN THEY WASH YOUR HAIR

IN THESE PLACES, CAN THEY

DO SOMETHING TO GAGE THE WATER

TEMPERATURE BEFORE THEY STICK

YOUR HEAD IN THE SINK?

"IS THE WATER TOO HOT FOR YOU?"

"NO, MY LEGS ALWAYS KICK OUT

LIKE THAT, THANKS."

[LAUGHTER]

"YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY HOT.

IS THAT FOLGERS?

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOIN'

TO ME?"

[LAUGHTER]

"WOULD YOU LIKE A MILD

CONDITIONER?"

"YOU SAY FIRE EXTINGUISHER?"

[LAUGHTER]

WE'RE NOT INTIMIDATED BY

THE TERRORISTS HERE IN NEW YORK.

IT'S REALLY THE PEOPLE FROM

THE OTHER STATES THAT WORRY

TOO MUCH.

THEY'RE INTERVIEWING SOME GUY

FROM NORTH DAKOTA.

HE GOES, "IT CAN HAPPEN HERE."

NO, IT CAN'T.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS, APPLAUSE]

YOU HAVE TO BUILD A CIVILIZATION

FIRST.

[LAUGHTER]

OOH, CRASH A PLANE INTO A

STEAK & SHAKE.

THAT'LL CHANGE THE WORLD.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

YOU BLOW NORTH DAKOTA BACK

INTO THE STONE AGES.

YOU'RE ONLY SETTING 'EM BACK

LIKE SIX MONTHS.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M A LITTLE PARANOID WITH

THE TERRORISTS, THOUGH.

I DEFINITELY THINK THERE SHOULD

BE A FEDERAL MARSHALL IN EVERY

AIRPLANE.

WHY NOT?

I THINK THERE SHOULD BE ONE

IN EVERY TAXICAB JUST TO BE ON

THE SAFE SIDE.

I'M WAITING ON THAT WRONG CAB

RIDE.

"TAKE ME TO 32nd & 1st."

"YOU WANNA GO TO ALLAH?"

"NO, NOT AT ALL."

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