Kirk Fox - Glassblower

  • Season 12 , Ep 19
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 34,833

If you lose an eye while glassblowing, what's the first thing you do? (3:06)

YOU EVER JUST SEEN A COUPLEAND SAID,

"WOW, I'D LIKE TO WATCH THEMMAKE LOVE," YOU KNOW?

JUST A REALLY GOOD-LOOKINGCOUPLE.

NOTHING CREEPY.

NOT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA FILM ITAND SELL IT.

JUST LIKE MAN AND WOMAN,ANATOMY --

LET'S JUST WATCH, YOU KNOW?

TODAY, STANDING NEXT TO ABEAUTIFUL WOMAN I HADN'T SEEN.

THERE WAS A COUPLEIN FRONT OF US,

AND I WAS LIKE, "WOULDN'T YOULIKE TO WATCH THEM MAKE LOVE?"

AND SHE SLAPPED MERIGHT IN THE FACE.

IT WAS RIGHT THENTHAT I REALIZED

I WAS JUST LOOKINGAT OUR REFLECTION

IN A STOREFRONT WINDOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

I WAS LIKE, "WOW.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S GONNA BEMAKE-UP SEX FOR THAT."

JOINED A RUSSIANMAIL-ORDER-BRIDE SITE TODAY.

I JUST KIND OF STUMBLED ON IT.

TOOK ABOUT EIGHT HOURS.I FOUND THIS SITE.

THERE WAS LIKE 35,000

OF THE MOST BEAUTIFULRUSSIAN PROSTITUTES

YOU'VE EVER SEEN THAT WANTEDTO MARRY AN AMERICAN.

SO I PUT UP MY HEAD SHOTAND RéSUMé,

AND A HALF-HOUR LATERI GOT 3,200 MARRIAGE PROPOSALS.

I ACCEPTED EVERY ONE OF THEM.

I WROTE BACK, AND I SAID,

"I CAN'T WAITTO COME TO YOUR VILLAGE

AND START MY NEW LIFEIN YOUR COUNTRY."

[ LAUGHTER ]

"SHOULD I BRING A HAT,MAYBE A SWEATER?

SOMETHING COOL."

MET DALE CHIHULY TODAY.

NUMBER ONE GLASSBLOWERIN THE WORLD.

HE'S GOT AN EYE PATCH.

HOW GOOD CAN YOU BE IF YOU CAN'TBLOW A DECENT GLASS EYE?

[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU KNOW?

I DON'T GET IT.

IF I HAVE THE ABILITYTO MAKE AN EYE AND I LOSE ONE,

FIRST THING I DO,I MAKE A GODDAMN EYEBALL.

LIKE A SNOW GLOBE.SOMETHING FANTASTIC, YOU KNOW?

SOMETHING WHERE YOU BLINK,

THERE'S LIKE SNOW,A PICTURE, YOU KNOW?

THE GIRLS LOOK AT IT --"WOW, THAT'S A NICE EYE."

"YEAH, WATCH."

CRAZY."I CAN SEE THE OCEAN."

"NO, THAT IS THE OCEAN.

PUT YOUR EAR TO IT.YOU CAN HEAR IT, TOO."

[ LAUGHTER ]

SOME GUYTRIED TO SELL ME A WATCH

WITH THE LUNAR PHASESOF THE MOON ON IT.

HE'S LIKE,"YOU GOT TO HAVE IT, MAN.

GOT TO KNOWWHAT THE MOON'S DOING."

"REALLY?

ARE YOU TELLING METHE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN LOOKING AT THE MOONAND LOOKING AT MY WATCH

IS 500 BUCKS?

I'LL LOOK UP, YOU KNOW?

IF THERE'S A CLOUD, I'LL WAIT.I GOT TIME, YOU KNOW?"

HE'S LIKE, "YOU GOT TO HAVE IT.

"GOT TO KNOWWHAT THE MOON'S DOING.

EVERYBODY DOES."

NO, YOU DON'T.

THE ONLY PERSONTHAT REALLY NEEDS TO KNOW

WHAT THE MOON'S DOING --MAYBE A WEREWOLF.

THIS GUY NEEDS TO KNOWWHAT THE MOON'S DOING.

ESPECIALLY IF HE'SON A HOT DATE, YOU KNOW?

"LISTEN, I'M GONNA REALLYHAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE."

"WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO,TURN INTO A PUMPKIN?"

"NO, A LOT WORSE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

MAYBE AN ASTRONAUT.

THIS GUY NEEDS TO KNOWWHAT THE MOON'S DOING, YOU KNOW?

ESPECIALLY IF HE'SABOUT TO LAND ON IT.

"HEY, NASA, LISTEN,

"I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CANSEE THIS FROM DOWN THERE --

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HAVETHIS WATCH --

BUT THE MOON'S NOT FULL.IT'S JUST A SLIVER.

"WE'LL FALLRIGHT OFF THE TIP.

SO LET'S GO AHEAD AND PULL BACK,CIRCLE IT A FEW MORE TIMES."

[ LAUGHTER ]

Loading...