still has the capacityto inflame people.
And it doesn't make any sense,especially here.
America is a country
built on immigration.
And, you know,as a recent immigrant
that technically makes memore American than you are.
You did not like that one bit,did you?
You-- You weren'teven willing
to buy into the premiseof that joke.
Ah, yeah, but no,though.
Except take that back.That is not true.
It doesn't make sense.
has overwhelminglybeen a good thing.
You can prove thismathematically.
In fact, I actually triedto crunch the numbers
before I came on stage.
Next time someone'stalking to you
and they seem terrifiedabout immigration
without being ableto fully explain why,
try and reassure themlike this.
Immigration is mathematicallya good thing.
Let's-- Let's lookat the facts.
In the average country,
13.4% of the adultpopulation are douche bags.
That's a generousfigure.
Total unremittingdouche bags.
However, that leaves 86.6%who are not douche bags.
Now, it's a well-known factthat a douche bag
is less likely to wantto live somewhere else
than someone who isn'ta douche bag.
They just sit at homeand fester in their douchiness.
So, the more immigrantsthat America allows in,
the further thedouche-to-non-douche balance
in this countrytips towards the non-douches.
where from the non-doucheimmigrants are emigrating
are left with a higherpercentage of douche bags,
making those who arenot douches in those countries
more likely to want to leaveand come to live here.
Thus, by the processof inverse douche osmosis,
America becomes the leastdouchy country in the world.
You can't arguewith mathematics.