you don't hear alot about thecharity work I do
and it's becauseI don't do any.
You know what's betterthan tax write-offs?
Keeping your money.
That's just a fun joketo tell rich people.
It's not true.
I work with Make-A-Wishall the time.
That's an incredibleexperience,
uh, for me,not the kids that are dying.
Yeah, they choseto hang out with me.
They knewwhat kind of jokes I told.
They were okay with it.
I don't pander onstage,
and I certainly don'tpander offstage.
And I'm telling you honestly,these dying kids
have the best sense of humoron this planet.
Their parents,not so much,
but I don't care.
As soon as I meet them,I start giving it to them.
Like, "Are you sureyou're dying?
You knowthis is my weekend, right?"
And they're like,"I'm dying."
I'm like,"All right, let's go.
Don't cough on me,mother[bleep]."
They want to be teasedlike anybody else.
They can handle it.
Trust me, they've handleda lot worse.
This kid I was hanging out withlast year a bunch was 17.
I'm like, "This is awesomethat you're dying now.
You got this inright under the wire."
If you don't know,the organization
is 18 and under.
So if you're dying of cancerat 19, they're like...
[blows raspberry]"Hope your dreams are cheap."
If you're laughingright now,
it's becauseyou're a good person
and you realize how absurdthat statement is,
to thinkthat they draw a hard line,
but it's funny to thinkthey might be
holding their doors shut.
"You can't get in, kid.You're too old."
And they don't evenhave to hold tight
because they kidsare so weak
because the diseaseis winning.
Don't feel badfor this kid.
The first thing he saidwhen he met me was--
he told meI was his third choice.
And to this day,I don't know
if he was [bleep] kiddingor not.
That's not cool.I'm healthy.
I'm gonna livea long time.
I don't need thatnoodling around up there.
And if it makes you feelany better
laughing at these jokes,know that he is cured
and healthy now.
He's not.He's dead.