Kareem Green - White Women

Season 2 , Ep 1 01/26/12 Views: 959

Kareem Green doesn't want to be politically correct in his own household. (2:15)

YOU GONNA SEE TONIGHT.

THIS IS IT FOR ME--YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

I'M ON MY LAST LEG.

[laughter]

YEAH, THIS SHITDON'T WORK OUT FOR ME,

IT'S BACK TO CRIME--YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

YEAH, SO, REALLY,LIKING ME IS LIKE

AN INVESTMENTIN YOUR FUTURE.

[laughter]

HIT YO ASS RIGHTOUTSIDE AFTER THE SHOW,

"GIMME YOUR SHIT!"

YOU'RE LIKE, "KAREEM,I THOUGHT YOU DID COMEDY."

I'M LIKE,"I QUIT, MOTHERFUCKER."

YOU BE LIKE, "WHEN"--"WHEN I SAID 'GOOD-NIGHT.'

"NOW, GIMME YOUR SHIT!

"WHAT ARE THESEQUESTIONS ABOUT?"

DON'T LET THIS MOTHERFUCKERBOWTIE AND GLASSES FOOL YOU.

THIS IS TOKEEP Y'ALL CALM.

AIN'T NO PRESCRIPTIONIN THESE MOTRFUCKERS.

[laughter]

A LOT OF LOVELYLADIES IN HERE.

I REALIZE SOMETHIN' ABOUTMYSELF, LOVELY LADIES.

THE ONLY ISSUE I HAVEIS, LIKE, WHITE WOMEN,

Y'ALL LOVELY, BUTI REALIZE SOMETHIN'.

YOU GOT GREAT SPIRITS,FUN TO BE AROUND,

BUT I-I REALIZED SOMETHING--I COULD NEVER LIVE WITH YOU.

YEAH, NOT 'CAUSEI'M RACIST OR NOTHIN'.

IT'S JUST 'CAUSE ASA BLACK MAN IN AMERICA,

I NEED TO HAVE SOMEONEI CAN COME HOME

AND COMPLAIN ABOUTWHITE PEOPLE TO.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

[laughter]

AND THAT JUST DON'TWORK WITH MY WHITE WIFE.

YOU KNOW, AND PLUS,EVEN IF SHE DO LISTEN TO ME,

I CAN'T TALKLIKE I WANNA TALK.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T SAYTHE THINGS I REALLY WANNA SAY.

NOBODY WANNA BE POLITICALLYCORRECT IN THEIR OWN HOUSEHOLD.

YOU KNOW, THEIRFRUSTRATIONS.

YOU KNOW, I GOTTACOME HOME AND BE LIKE,

"HONEY, THE WHITEPEOPLE ON THE JOB TODAY

"WERE ACTINGVERY NOT NICE."

[laughter]

I DON'T WANNADO THAT SHIT.

I WANNA COMEHOME AND BE REAL.

LIKE, "I'M GONNA KILLTHESE WHITE MOTHERFUCKERS!

"I'M GONNA KILL 'EM--I'M GONNA KILL 'EM!

"THEY DID IT AGAIN, BABE--THEY DID IT AGAIN!"

BUT IN LIFE, THOUGH,ALL YOU GOTTA REALLY DO

IS TRY TOBE HAPPY, MAN.

JUST BE HAPPYWITH BEING HERE.

I REALIZE THAT, MAN.

YOU GOTTA LEARN TO BEHAPPY WITH BEING HERE,

'CAUSE, LIKE, FROMMY ACCENT-- YOU KNOW,

I'M FROMNEW YORK RIGHT NOW.

BUT FROM MY ACCENT,YOU CAN'T TELL

WHERE I'MORIGINALLY FROM.

NOPE.

Y'ALL LOOKIN'ALL BAFFLED.

I LIVE INNEW YORK RIGHT NOW,

BUT I'M ORIGINALLY FROMMY DADDY'S NUTS, YOU KNOW?

[laughter]

WE ALL ARE!

YOU FROM SOMEPINK NUTS, THOUGH,

BUT I'M FROM SOMEBROWN NUTS, YOU KNOW?

THINK ABOUT IT--WE THE LUCKY ONES.

WE MADE IT--YOU ALL ARE WINNERS.

THAT'S THE FIRSTRACE YOU EVER WON.

[applause]

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