Bill Burr - The Anti-Woman Show

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 15,745

Women have the ability to play both sides of the fence. (1:51)

(Bill Burr)NO, I'M NOT,LIKE, ANTI-WOMAN.

I'M PROBABLY COMINGOFF AS THAT, I'M NOT.

I THINK THAT WAS AGREAT THING FOR Y'ALL.

THEY KEEP SAYING THEY WANNABE TREATED JUST LIKE GUYS,

THEY DON'T!

THEY ONLY WANTTHE GOOD (bleep).

SAME AMOUNT AN HOUR,WE'LL TAKE THAT.

PAY FOR THE MOVIE?

(bleep) THAT, YOUCAN KEEP THAT.

THIS IS GOOD, THAT SUCKS.

YOU CAN'T CHOOSE!

WHY DOES THE GUYMAKE MORE AN HOUR

TO DO THE EXACT SAME JOB?

I GO, I'LL TELL YOU WHY...

BECAUSE IN THE UNLIKELYEVENT THAT WE'RE BOTH

ON A TITANIC ANDIT STARTS TO SINK,

FOR SOME REASON YOU GETTO LEAVE WITH THE KIDSAND I HAVE TO STAY.

THAT'S WHY I GET THEDOLLAR MORE AN HOUR.

IF THERE'S A HOUSEFIRE, IT'S ALWAYS WOMENAND CHILDREN FIRST.

I GOTTA STANDTHERE WITH, LIKE,

THE BACK OF MY SHIRTON FIRE GOING...

"LET'S GO, LET'SGO, LET'S GO!"

UNTIL WOMEN STARTDYING IN SOME (bleep),

I GET $8.10 AN HOUR,YOU GET $7.10.

I GET $8.10 AN HOUR,YOU GET $7.10.

I'M STILL PAYINGFOR THE MOVIE.

WHAT, A MOVIE'S10 BUCKS!

SO THAT'S ALL OF MONDAY,THAT'S TWO HOURS OF TUESDAY,

AND THEN I GOTTA BUY YOU,LIKE, A COKE AND A POPCORN,

NOW WE'RE THROUGH WEDNESDAY.

THEN I GOTTA TAKEYOU TO A FUDRUCKER'S

OR SOME (bleep)LIKE THAT,

THAT'S A WHOLEWEEK'S PAY.

WOMEN ARE BRILLIANT.

THEY'RE GENIUSES, THEYHAVE THE ABILITY,

THEY CAN PLAY BOTHSIDES OF THE FENCE.

GUYS GET PLAYED, THEYGET PLAYED ALL THE TIME

AND DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME... WATCHA BEAUTIFUL SINGLE WOMAN

MOVE OUT OF AN APARTMENT.

THERE'LL BE, LIKE, FIVEGUYS, ALL MOVING (bleep),

THINKING THEY'REALL GONNA GET LAID.

NONE OF 'EM GET LAID.

THE ONLY GUY WHO'SGONNA GET LAID

IS THE GUY WHO TOLD HERTO GO (bleep) HERSELF.

NOW HE'S INTERESTING, ANDALL THESE OTHER GUYS...

LOOK AT THE BOXI'M PICKING UP,

LOOK HOW HEAVY THIS IS.

AND THE OTHER GUYGETS ALL LIKE...

OH, (bleep), HE'S GOTTHE INSIDE TRACK...

HE'S GOT, LIKE, AREFRIGERATOR ON HIS BACK.

LOOK AT THIS.

YOU SHOULD MATE WITH ME.

Loading...