Welcome back.I'm here with my panel.
First up, Nightly Show contributor Mike Yard.
And Nightly Show contributorRobin Thede.
And he's the co-host of the newmusic series Greatest Hits,
premiering next Thursday on ABC.And you can catch him
at Harrah's Resort in AtlanticCity on Saturday, July 9.
Legendary TV host, comedian,actor Arsenio Hall, everybody.
-(cheering, applause, woofing)-Yes.
That's right.And for everyone at home,
join our conversationright now on Twitter,
@NightlyShow, using #Tonightly.Now, okay, so,
over the course of two weeks,Trump really
seems to be falling apart,or his candidacy.
I don't know if he is.But he fired
his campaign manager, hiscampaign virtually has no cash,
his numbers are falling...I think his unfavorables, like,
are at 61% or somethinglike that. He was lambasted...
For his-his unfavorables...
For his reactionto the Orlando shootings.
-THEDE: Oh, yeah.-Um...
-Arsenio, I'm gladyou're here, all right? -Mm.
-Because you a per...-I know him.
You have a personal connectionwith him. -I...
I won The Apprentice. I'm theJackie Robinson of Apprentice.
-I was the first.-That's right.
So, so let me ask you, that,in your heart of hearts, okay?
Uh-huh? -Do you think DonaldTrump is truly invested
in becoming presidentor is all this a con?
Is this, like, just a...Is he playing us right now?
N... Oh, what... See, Larry,first of all,
this is Donald Trump,and you know that ego--
he wants to rule the world.This ain't no game for him.
-THEDE: Wow.-WILMORE: Uh-huh.
You know, this-this ain't no...He-he... Right?
He want-he wantsto rule the world
and I think he just, you know,he needs some black friends.
-He definitely does.-I mean, more than Omarosa.
-I know what y'allare thinking. -Right.
Yeah, but do you think...But, see, to me, it seems like
when he started winning,he was like,
"Oh, (bleep), I was joking.
-I didn't think this was gonnahappen." -Well-well...
But Larry, he got to win now,
because he's ruined his lifein every other place
-but Pennsylvania Avenue.-He has. That is a fact.
-That is a fact.-You know, I... I have a tie
that he gave me once.It's a Donald Trump tie. -Right.
Made in China.He can't even go to China now.
-No, he can't. It's true.-You know?
-To even get his own ties.Yeah, yeah. -Right, right.
He can't go give ordersto the ladies.
Nobody's sewing for him in Chinaever again.
-So nice. I love that....-No, I think he's been trying
to get out of this, but...
-You think he was activelytrying to get out? -I mean,
look at the (bleep)he's been saying.
Does that sound likesomebody that wanna win?
-(laughter, applause) -WILMORE:It's working. But it's working.
And I know, and he's like us--I'm sure every time
Trump goes home, he's like,"What the (bleep) is going on?!"
YARD: "I just made funof a handicapped dude
-and they love me!" -Yeah."I tried the Mexican joke,
and they like me more."
And that's...you know what's crazy
about him hating immigrants--the Donald Trump I know...
back in the day didn't (bleep)nobody but immigrants.
-(laughter)-THEDE: Yeah! Yeah! Exactly.
-(whooping, applause)-WILMORE: Um, back in the day?
-I believe he's married...-Yes. Yeah, I mean,
other than...other than Marla Maples...
-THEDE: Yeah. -WILMORE: Mm.-You know?
And she, who knows?I don't even know where she is.
-(laughter) -That might belike Mission: Impossible.
She might do this one day,and it's like, oh, that's...!
-(laughter) -You know?She may not even be white.
You know, like, the onlywhite woman he really wants
is his daughter,and you know that.
-(groaning, jeering) -THEDE:Yes! That's-that's my theory.
That's my theory, is that heactually only ran for president
to impress Ivanka.
-I really think so.-Really?
-Yeah. He was like... -Youthink... Wait. He's running...
-YARD: That's whyhe let her fire people. -Yes.
And you know whatno one else talks about?
He has another daughterthat gets no molest-y love.
-That's Marla Maples' daughter.Yes! -That's weird. Yes.
-Yes!-It's so true, though.
THEDE: How come you don't wantto have sex with that daughter?
No molest-y love.
-YARD: No molest-y love.-THEDE: Yeah, no molest-y love.
-Okay. All right.-That's messed up!
-It is messed up.-On so many levels.
-Yeah.-So is that the art of the deal?
-How to get molest-y love fromyour kid? -Yeah. Chapter 12.
WILMORE (laughing):Oh, I did not know that.
Okay, I want to show you this,
'cause I wantyour reaction to this.
Can we show that clipof what he said at his rally
when he was lookingfor his African American friend?
-Oh! -My God.-We got to show that.
-Oh! Don't show this.-Let's show that. Okay.
We had a case where we hadan African American guy
who was a fan of mine.
Great fan. Great guy!
In fact, I want to find outwhat's going on with him.
Do you know what I'm...
Ah, look at my African Americanover here. Look at him.
"My African American"?
Yeah, he must not have gotthe e-mail. We're free now.
-You don't own us. -Yeah.-(laughter)
-You don't own us.-Yeah.
We're free, brah.
Enough with your trip downmemory lane, mother (bleep).
-"My African American"!-I love how it's...
I love how it's just his gameof Where's Waldo,
-but just with black people.-Right.
Like it was hard to find himat a Trump rally.
Well, he was so shocked."Oh, my God!"
If he had a black friend,he wouldn't have put "my"
-in that sentence, you know?-Right.
Does he thinkyou're his black friend?
Oh, not after tonight.
You knocked that out.I think you knocked that out.
Let me ask you this,Okay, here's the challenge.
-Let me as you this,let me ask you this. -Yeah.
If Trump said, "Okay,I am coming out for reparations
"for black people.Hillary's not gonna say this.
"I'm saying reparationsfor black people.
All of you guys get...I'm writing a $25,000..."
See? Your facechanging right now.
"I'm writing everybodya $25,000 check right now,
"and I get to say (bleep)!That's right!
"That's right!I get to say (bleep).
You get $25,000.Who's voting for me now?"
For 25 grand,you can't call me (bleep).
-Are you voting for him now?-For 25 grand,
you can't call me (bleep),are you kidding me?
Okay, he won't call you that.Can he...
-Are you voting for him, though?-For 25 grand, no. Nah.
-Not for 25 grand. -But he...for me to vote for him,
he got to do, like, a Kool-Aidcommercial or something.
Like, a strawberry Kool-Aid...And I'll be like,
"Aah, I'm thinking,I'm thinking."
For me to vote for him--'cause you know
I'm the reparations dude, I'vebeen begging for that (bleep).
-So it's a matter of price?-But here's what... Yes.
And this is what it is.If he gave 25 grand
and... like we said earlier,free college...
-for black... black people...-That's your price?
-It depends, though.I got to see... -(laughter)
'Cause I don't trust him.I got see the legislation...
-Let me just say two words.-'Cause he might be slick.
Let me just say two words.Let me just say two words.
-Aah! -Okay, we'll be rightback. We'll be right back.
-♪ -(cheering, applause)
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