Extended - Sucksgiving - Theater School Dropouts Trying to Go Viral - Uncensored

Extended - Thursday, November 17, 2016 - Uncensored 11/17/2016 Views: 979

Willam Belli, Justin Martindale and Bridget Everett answer questions about ill-conceived Thanksgiving parody songs. (6:57)

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(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)NOW IT'S TIME TO PLAY

SUCKSGIVING, SUCKSGIVING.

SO...

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)IF YOU POKE AROUND ON YOUTUBE,

YOU'RE GONNA NOTICE SCORES OFILL-CONCEIVED THANKSGIVING

PARODY SONGS FROM THEATRE SCHOOLDROP-OUTS TRYING TO GO VIRAL.

NOW...

(LAUGHTER)YOU KNOW WHO MAKES GOOD SONGS,

LIKE, QUALITY SONGS ABOUT FOOD?

WEIRD AL YANKOVIC, AND THAT ISIT.

>> YEAH.

>> YES.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)>> HARDWICK: HE IS THE

DEFINITIVE VOICE IN THAT REALM.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE HIS PLACE.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE BETTER THANAL.

AL IS IT.

SO I'M GONNA SHOW YOU ATHANKSGIVING SONG, AND FOR 250

POINTS, YOU HAVE TO ANSWER AQUESTION ABOUT IT.

FIRST UP-- HERE'S A... HERE'S APARODY FOR FRUSTRATED MOMS.

>> ♪ NOW WATCH ME SIPMY CHARDONNAY-NAY

WATCH ME SIP, SIP♪ MY CHARDONNAY-NAY

'CAUSE I'VE BEEN COOKIN'SINCE 4:30... ♪

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: IT'S, UH...

IT'S...

THIS IS THE MOM WHO'S BABIES GETWASTED AFTER NURSING.

(LAUGHTER)UH, COMEDIANS, WHAT'S HER

THANKSGIVING PRAYER?

BRIDGET.

>> DEAR LORD, I DRINK NOT JUSTTILL I BLACK OUT, BUT UNTIL I

WET THE BED.

THANK YOU, JESUS.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)WILLAM.

>> UH...

(LAUGHTER)>> DEAR OFFICER, HOW MUCH CAN'T

COULD A WHITE GIRL CAN'T IF AWHITE MOM COULDN'T CAN'T EVEN?

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)OH, VERY GOOD. YEAH, VERY GOOD.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)JUSTIN.

>> DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET THECLOWNS TAKE THE KIDS INTO THE

WOODS THIS YEAR.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)PLEASE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)ALL RIGHT, NEXT UP-- A VIDEO

WITH A MESSAGE.

>> ♪ NEW...

WORLDTHIS GRUDGE

CAN'T LAST FOREVER... ♪>> OH.

>> ♪ STOLE MY LAND >> ♪ SO TELL ME WHAT

YOU HATING FOR ♪>> ♪ STOLE MY LAND...

(LAUGHTER)>> NO.

NO.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)NO!

>> HARDWICK: COMEDIANS, YOURCHALLENGE-- SAY SOMETHING NICE

ABOUT THIS VIDEO.

WILLAM.

>> THIS IS FROM "NOW THAT'S WHATI CALL GENOCIDE."

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

>> SLOW JAM.

>> HARDWICK: VOLUME FOUR.

BRIDGET.

>> WELL, IT'S REAL STEP UP FROMHIS BLACK-FACE VIDEO, SO THERE'S

THAT.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

POINTS. POINTS.

(LAUGHTER AND GROANING)(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

JUSTIN.

>> AND I WAS GONNA, RAPE ANDPILLAGING SOUND AMAZING WITH

AUTO-TUNE PERSONALLY.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE & CHEERING)>> HARDWICK: YEAH, I MEAN, THEY

REALLY...

>> RIGHT THERE. IT'S UP THERE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

NOW, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

YOU'RE SITTING AT HOME SAYING,"CHRIS, THIS SEGMENT NEEDS MORE

TERRIBLE WHITE RAPPERS."

WELL, HERE YOU GO, MOTHERFUCKERS!

>> ♪ UH, OHTHANKSGIVING IN MY HOUSE

I LOVE IT♪ WHEN YOU'RE CARVING BIG TURKEY

YEAH, MY STOMACH'SSTARTIN' TO GROWL

FOR THAT SAVORY FOWL... ♪(LAUGHTER)

>> HARDWICK: COMEDIANS, WE KNOWHE LIKES IT WHEN YOU CALL HIM

"BIG TURKEY."

WHAT ARE SOME OF THIS GUY'SOTHER NICKNAMES?

JUSTIN.

>> NOTORIOUS S.H.I.T.

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

POINTS.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)BRIDGET.

>> WHITER MACKLEMORE.

>> HARDWICK: YES. POINTS.

POINTS.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)WILLAM.

>> STRAIGHT OUTTA PASADENA.

>> HARDWICK: MM-HMM, YEAH.

MM-HMM, POINTS.

(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)NEXT UP IS A GENTLEMAN WHO SEEMS

TO HAVE MIXED UP HIS HOLIDAYS.

(STRUMMING GUITAR)>> ♪ THANKSGIVING DAY...

ALL YOU GOT TO KNOW ISIT'S THE THANKSGIVING SONG... ♪

(LAUGHTER)>> HARDWICK: AH.

HE'S PUT THE TINSEL ALL OVER THEFILE CABINET WHERE HE KEEPS THE

PORN.

IT'S EVEN MORE BAFFLING HE'SWEARING CHRISTMAS CLOTHES.

HE'S SINGING THANKSGIVING SONGS.

AND I WANT TO POINT OUT, HEPOSTED THIS IN MAY.

(LAUGHTER)(APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

MAY 25.

>> WHAT A WEIRDO.

>> HARDWICK: HE'S VERY...

HE NEEDS HELP.

COMEDIANS, WHAT IS THIS GUYTHANKFUL FOR?

WILLAM.

>> THANKFUL THAT MEGAN'S LAWDOESN'T APPLY TO GIRLS NAMED

MEGAN.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

POINTS.

UH, BRIDGET.

>> THANKFUL THAT INTERNET PORNCAN'T TURN HIM DOWN.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, POINTS.

(LAUGHTER)JUSTIN.

>> HE'S THANKFUL FOR HATECRIMES.

>> HARDWICK: HE'S... ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, POINTS.

(APPLAUSE)NOW, SINCE I'M A MERCIFUL HOST,

FOR OUR LAST ENTRY, I'M GONNASHOW YOU A THANKSGIVING SONG

THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY FUCKIN'DOPE.

HERE'S A REMIX OF A GOSPELSERMON FROM REMIX GOD SUEDE.

>> ♪ I GOT BEANS, CREAMSPOTATOES, TOMATOES

LAMB, RAMS, HOGS, DOGS♪ BEANS, CREAMS

POTATOES, TOMATOESCHICKEN, TURKEY

RABBIT... ♪(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)

>> HARDWICK: ♪ BEANS, CREAMSPOTATOES, TOMATOES... ♪

COMEDIANS, I SHALL NOW DROP WHATWE WOULD REFER TO IN THE

BUSINESS AS A NASTY BEAT, AND INTHE STYLE OF SHIRLEY CAESAR,

YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME WHAT SIDESYOU'RE HAVING FOR THANKSGIVING.

UH... LET'S BEGIN.

WILLAM.

♪ (WHOOPING)

(LAUGHTER)♪ I GOT TURDUCKEN

MOTHERFUCKIN'AND SOME FORESKIN

♪ AND SOME GRAVY, ENOUGH XANAXDOWN WITH VODKA

MAKE YOU THINK THATI'M A LADY. ♪

(CHEERING, APPLAUSE)>> OOH! OOH!

>> HARDWICK: PERFECTION.

PERFECTION.

>> OOH!

>> I'M GONNA GO HOME NOW.

>> OOH!

OOH! SHE CAME THROUGH ON THATONE. OH!

>> YEAH, SHE DID!

>> OH! OH!

>> HARDWICK: THIS PIE IS HOT OUTOF THE OVEN!

>> AS IT SHOULD BE!

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, FOLLOWTHAT, JUSTIN MARTIN.

♪ >> OKAY. (CLEARS THROAT)

♪ I GOT AN UNCLE, HE'S DRUNKHE VOTED FOR TRUMP

HE DON'T SHUT UP, I'M GONNAPUNCH HIM IN THE DICK. ♪

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, THATDOESN'T... YEAH.

(WHOOPING, APPLAUSE)>> I'M VERY WHITE.

>> HARDWICK: YEAH.

>> I'M VERY WHITE.

>> HARDWICK: I'LL GIVE YOU...

I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS FOR THAT.

UH, BRIDGET.

>> OKAY.

♪ (LAUGHTER)

♪ I GOT CHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAYCHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAY

CHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAY♪ CHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAY

CHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAYCHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAY

♪ CHARDONNAY, CHARDONNAYI'M DRUNK...! ♪

(CHEERING)>> HARDWICK: AH...

THAT'S PERFECT!

>> CHARDONNAY ALL DAY!

>> HARDWICK: YOU SHOULD, UH, YOUSHOULD TAKE THAT LADY'S KIDS.

FROM THE EARLIER VIDEO.