I'm actually trying todrink healthier now

'cause I'm tryingto get into shape.

God forbid I just grow upand give up drinking.

God forbid that happens.I'm trying to drink healthy--

So I drink red wine now.

Well, yeah, it's healthy.

You know.

I like it.

I like red wine; it tastes good.

White wine can suck my (bleep).

Seriously.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting!

"It tastes good!"

Does it?

Does it taste good?

"Excuse me, bartender,you wouldn't happen to have

"an alcohol back therewith a flavor reminiscent

"of a vinaigrette,by any chance, would you?

"'Cause I was gonna chugthis Newman's Own.

"I prefer a drinkthat didn't have cheese in it.

"Is that possible?

Oh, Riesling, I'll take that."

I'm trying to get into shape.

And, please,this is a cry for help.

Ladies, stop banging me.

Please.

I'm a lump of shit.And I know that.

I look in the mirror and I go,"Dude, you're a lump of shit.

You got to do somethingabout this."

And then you bang me,and I'm like,

"Eh, (bleep) it, I'm fine.Whatever."

I'm gonna die.

And I know I'm on the downslide,

'cause my mom hasn't told meI'm handsome in five years.

Yeah, I don't knowwhy that stopped.

She used to tell meall the time.

Yeah, if a girl didn't like me,

"You are handsome!

I don't care what anybody says!"

"Thank you, Mom.

"Why'd you say 'I don't carewhat anybody says'?

What are they saying?"