Chris D'Elia - Hawaiian Directions

  • Season 15 , Ep 5
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 29,200

Chris D'Elia observes how weird it is that everyone sounds different in the world. (1:24)

SOUNDS DIFFERENT IN THE WORLD.

YOU KNOWWHAT I MEAN?

LIKE, YOU GO2,000 MILES ONE WAY,

PEOPLE SOUNDDIFFERENT.

YOU GO 2,000 MILES ANOTHERWAY, THEY SOUND DIFFERENT.

I WENT TO HAWAII.

THEY DON'T EVEN USE CONSONANTS,MAN-- THEY JUST USE VOWELS,

AND THEY DON'T CARETHAT YOU'RE CONFUSED.

LIKE, I WENT DOWN TOTHE CONCIERGE TO ASK HIM

HOW TO GET SOME PLACE--I SOUNDED LIKE A IDIOT.

I WAS LIKE, "YEAH,HOW DO YOU GET TO

"OOH-WILIA-WA-E-A-WAH-O-WA-YAYA-YA-O-WA-YA-YA?"

[audience laughing]

HE LOOKS AT ME ALL SMUG,AND THIS IS WHAT HE SAYS.

HE GOES LIKE THIS, "THAT'SWILIA-WAH-YA-WA-O-AH."

[audience laughing]

I'M LIKE, "COOL, JERK--HOW DO YOU GET THERE?"

THIS IS WHATHE SAYS TO ME.

HE'S LIKE, "SIMPLE.

"OUT OF THE HOTEL, TAKEA LEFT ON O-WEE-A-O-O,

"RIGHT ON I-YA-E-E, ANOTHERRIGHT ON O-A-AH-O-E-E.

"THAT BECOMESAYE-YA-AH-AH.

"THERE'S A FORKIN THE ROAD.

"DON'T TAKE A-BA-YA-O-O--YOU'LL GET LOST.

"TAKE A LEFT ONYA-YA-AH-YA-AH-YA-YA-YA-YA.

[audience laughing]

"TAKE A RIGHT--

TAKE A RIGHTON OOH-E-AH-O-E-E,

"A LEFT ON AH-E-YA-AH, A RIGHTON NEW-AH-OOH-AH-OOH-OOH,

"A LEFT ONE-E-YA-AH-AH,

"AND THEN A RIGHT ONO-A-O-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E."

[audience laughing]

A HALF AN HOUR LATER,I'M ON O-A-O-O,

LIKE, "WHERE'S E-E-E--WHERE'S E-E-E?"

I SOUND LIKE,AN ANGRY DOLPHIN.

I'M JUST, "E-E-E!"

[audience laughing]

[cheers and applause]

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