Tom McCaffrey - Manipulating Genitalia

  • Season 1 , Ep 7
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 4,278

Babies shouldn't try to rob adults. (1:56)

(Tom McCaffrey)I WAS READING THENEWSPAPER RECENTLY ABOUT

THIS DUDE WHO GOTBUSTED MASTURBATING

IN A PORNO THEATER.

BUT, UH, THEY WEREINTERVIEWING THE SHERIFF

THAT BUSTED HIM--THAT ARRESTED HIM--

AND THE WAY HE DESCRIBEDWHAT THE GUY WAS DOING

WHEN HE CAUGHT HIM IS...

HE WAS LIKE, "YES.

"UH, I CAUGHT HIMMANIPULATING HIS GENITALIA.

YES."

AND I WAS LIKE...

I WAS LIKE--"MANIPULATINGHIS GENITALIA?"

LIKE, I DON'T THINKTHAT'S A VERY ACCURATE

DESCRIPTION OFMASTURBATING, Y'KNOW?

'CAUSE THAT'S, LIKE,IMPLYING THAT I'M, LIKE,

LYING TO MY GENITALIA,OR, LIKE, TRICKING IT

INTO DOING THAT, WHICH,LIKE, I'VE NEVER DONE.

I'VE NEVER BEEN LIKE,

HEY, GENITALIA, YOUWANNA JUST, LIKE,

HANG OUT ON THE COUCHTONIGHT, WATCH A MOVIE?

I'M NOT GONNATRY ANYTHING.

IT'S TOTALLY COOL, Y'KNOW?

I'M REALLY TIRED.

AND THEN I'LL BELIKE, AH HA HA!

I'VE GOT YOU, GENITALIA!

YOU FELL RIGHTINTO MY TRAP.

NOW GET OVER HERE ANDTAKE WHAT'S COMING TO YOU,

YOU WEAK-MINDED, SO EASILYMANIPULATED GENITALIA.

I DON'T THINK THAT'SACCURATE, RIGHT.

'CAUSE I USUALLY FEEL IT'STHE OTHER WAY AROUND, Y'KNOW?

LIKE, MY GENITALIA'SMANIPULATING ME INTODOING THAT, Y'KNOW?

LIKE, I'LL BE INTHE SHOWER, Y'KNOW?

AND I'LL BELIKE, WHAT, GENITALIA?

MY GENITALIA IS THE ONETHING I KNOW I CAN BEAT.

(Patrice)DON'T WORRY ABOUTA THING, MY MAN.

I'LL TEACH YOU EVERYTHINGYOU NEED TO KNOW

ABOUT STREET FIGHTING.

WHY SHOULD I BOTHERTO LEARN HOW TO FIGHT,

WHEN I CAN JUSTUSE A STUN GUN?

AWWW... TASERSARE FOR PUSSIES!

IF YOU ACT TOUGH, PEOPLEWILL THINK YOU'RE TOUGH.

THAT'S WHY NOBODYMESSES WITH ME.

NOBODY MESSES WITH YOU

BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAIDYOU'RE GOING TO EAT 'EM.

WATCH AND LEARN, BIATCH.

WATCH AND LEARN!

YOU'RE GONNA PICKON THAT GUY?

HE'LL GO JOSEPH MENGELAON YOUR ASS!

NAH, I'M GONNAPICK ON THIS GUY.

YO, GIVE ME YOURWALLET, SUCKA!

UHHH, OHHH BOOOOOOOO...

I THINK YOUR "TOUGH ATTITUDE"MAY NEED SOME ADJUSTING.

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