"Friends," Beards and George Lucas - Uncensored

01/10/2017 Views: 35

Mike Lawrence explains why "Friends" isn't a classic, provides an expert's takedown of beards and chastises everyone who thinks George Lucas ruined their childhood. (1:49)

Friends was just a hand-clappytheme song and six random

hot people fucking eachother.

Well thats not true. Five randomhot people and David Scwimmer's

droppy dog sadness thatdisguises itself as actual

stage presence.

And it inspired a wholegeneration of bland hot people

fucking sitcoms.

None of which had a funhand-clappy theme song

which is why Friends isconsidered a classic.

But it's not a classic. Sienfeldis a classic, The Simpsons is aclassic

Friends is remembered more forits haircuts than itspunchlines.

and is as memorable as a Tinderdate where you didn't even get

to make out and had to pay foryour half of the meal.

Beards are disgusting snack foodtraps.

Mmm. Honey Mustard Pringles.

And any man that has one is justtoo insecure to show you his

real face.

I'm not a real man, but Lordknows my face is doing

a decent impression of one.

My face says "I'll start a barfight to defend a womans honor"

but the rest of me says"confrentation makes me feelvery naseous"

The unrealistic expectationsyour parents put on you

and your inability to fullfilthem is what ruined yourchildhood

Why can't you play sports?Why'd you get a 1060 on yourSATs?

We paid for a tutor!

George Lucus gave you a happy golucky minstral gungan called

Darth Vador Ani. That's it. Andyou know what he did with themoney he made

selling Star Wars to Disney? Hegave all 4.6 billion of it to

inner city school programs sohe's actively enrichingchildhoods.

What have you done besidescomplain about George Lucus?

Yea. Mesa-thought-so.