Kathleen Madigan - Downsides to Sports

  • Season 3 , Ep 5
  • 07/04/2000
  • Views: 9,894

Why are marathons controlled by shoes? (1:07)

LIKE THE OLYMPIC SPORTS.

I CAN'T WATCH THEM,

'CAUSE I THINKTOO MANY PEOPLE ARE CHEATING.

WHOLE COUNTRIES ARE CHEATING,

WE DON'T SAY ANYTHING,'CAUSE WE'RE SCARED.

CHINA? I THINK THEY CHEATLIKE CRAZY PEOPLE.

THOSE CHINESE SWIMMERS--

IT COULDN'T BE MORE OBVIOUS.

AND OUR ANNOUNCERIS ALWAYS SO POLITE ABOUT IT.

"AH, BILL, DO YOU THINK PERHAPSWONG FOO WAS USING STEROIDS?"

"WELL, SHE SWAM HOME.

[laughter]

SHE BEAT THE WORLD RECORDBY AN HOUR AND A HALF, BOB."

THAT'S PRETTY FREAKY.

THE ONLY SPORTI ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO WATCH:

MARATHON RUNNING.

OH, THAT LOOKSLIKE A BUNCH OF ANOREXICS

IN A HURRY TO GET A BURGER.

I CAN'T--I CAN'T WATCH IT.

26 MILES--YOU'RE RUNNING FROM SOMETHING.

THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.

SIT DOWN.THINK ABOUT IT.

THAT IS CRAZY.

AND THEY ALWAYS SPENDALL THEIR MONEY ON SHOES.

YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE A $400 PAIROF RUNNING SHOES.

AND WHO SPONSORS THEM?

SHOES, SHOES, SHOES, SHOES,SHOES.

AND THEN WHO WINS EVERY YEAR?

SOME GUY FROM KENYA WHO'SNEVER EVEN HAD A PAIR OF SHOES.

[laughter]

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