Bruce Bruce - Cheating

  • Season 7, Ep 3
  • 02/20/2003
  • Views: 19,079

Women have a plan. (1:59)

I GOTTA HAVE A WOMAN DOWN WITH

ME, AND I MEAN DOWN WITH ME

THOROUGHLY.

'CAUSE FELLAS, WOMEN DO FOOL

AROUND.

BUT THE REASON THEY DON'T GET

CAUGHT, 'CAUSE WHEN A WOMAN MESS

WITH A MAN, HE LIVES ACROSS

TOWN, OUTTA TOWN.

FELLAS, WE MESS WITH

NEXT-DOOR-NEIGHBOR, CO-WORKERS.

(LAUGHTER)

WONDERING HOW SHE FOUND OUT.

AND YOU'LL NEVER CATCH A WOMAN.

IF YOU DO CATCH A WOMAN,

YOU BETTER BELIEVE SOMEBODY TOLD

ON HER.

'CAUSE ONE THING ABOUT WOMEN--

WOMEN HAVE A PLAN.

THEY NEED TO HAVE A BACK-UP

PLAN.

THEY NEED TO HAVE A BACK-UP PLAN

TO BACK UP THE BACK-UP PLAN.

WOMEN'S STUFF IS IN ORDER.

(APPLAUSE)

WOMEN ARE THINKING WHILE YOU'RE

ASLEEP AT NIGHT.

THAT'S WHY YOU CAN WAKE UP AT

3:00 IN THE MORNING, LOOK AT

YOUR GIRL, SHE'S LOOKING RIGHT

AT YOU.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

YOU BE LIKE, "OH, YOU AIN'T

ASLEEP?"

SHE LIKE "NO, I'M THINKING ABOUT

SOMETHING."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

IT'S JUST LIKE--

WOMEN ARE SOME--

IT'S JUST LIKE, WHEN YOU MAKE

LOVE TO YOUR WOMEN AND YOU

(BLEEP) FAST.

THEY DON'T SAY NOTHIN' THAT

NIGHT.

BUT WOMEN KNOW HOW TO MESS WITH

YOU THAT NEXT MORNING.

YOU GET UP.

"GOOD MORNING, MINUTE MAN."

YOU'RE LIKE "YOU BETTER GO ON

AND QUIT PLAYING.

"HEY, KIDS.

BREAKFAST WILL BE READY IN JUST

A MINUTE."

"YOU BETTER QUIT PLAYING, GIRL."

"HEY, THE SCHOOL BUS WILL BE

HERE IN ABOUT ONE MINUTE.

GO ASK YOUR DAD.

HE KNOWS ABOUT THAT."

(LAUGHTER)

BUT WOMEN ARE SOMETHING ELSE.

FELLAS, YOU GOTTA LEARN HOW

TO READ YOUR WOMAN.

YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO--

YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW TO READ YOUR

WOMAN.

YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY

WHEN TO SAY IT AND THE TIME

TO SAY IT.

IF YOUR WOMAN'S GETTING IN THE

CAR, COMPLAINING ABOUT THE JOB--

"I'M SO SICK OF THIS JOB,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."

AND YOU RESPOND LIKE THIS--

"EVERY TIME YOU GET IN THE CAR,

YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THAT JOB."

(LAUGHTER)

YOU'RE GETTING READY TO HAVE

SOME PROBLEMS IN YOUR HOUSE.

WHEN YOU NEED TO JUST BE LAID

BACK AND COOL.

AND SHE GET IN THE CAR,

"I'M SO SICK OF THAT JOB,

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO."

JUST SAY, "HEY, LOOK.

EVERYTHING GONNA BE ALL RIGHT."

(LAUGHTER)

AND SHE JUST BE STARING AT YOU.

"YOU WANT SOMETHING TO EAT?"

YOU'LL BE LIKE, "HELL, YEAH."

"WE'RE GONNA STOP AT THE STORE."

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