Dramatic Pause

Calculon 2.0 Season 7, Ep 20 07/24/2013 Views: 5,624

Just as Calculon's ego seems to be subsiding, a return to his old TV studio brings his old personality back to the surface. (1:54)

Humble is good.

Your self-esteemtook a beating,

but that'swhat brought outyour true talent.

Yes. You land hard when youfall from the top, right?

I used to be king here.

Now I'm nothingbut a mere peasant.

Or at best,a... a viscount.

I think "peasant"is about right.

Duke. On this set,I'm at least a duke.

My extensive actingrésumé dwarfs that ofthe average bit player.

Yes, that's true.But remember,

it's that kind of actingthat ruined you.

Or maybe archduke.

Whichever one getsto fire the director.

Oh, Lord, here we go.

Look, please justshow some humility--

like the other daywhen everything seemed hopeless.

Better yet, I'll whiptheir emotions into a frenzy

(melodramatically):by taking a dramatic...

Actors to the set!

(indistinct chatter)

Okay, here's the scene.

Calculon learns hiswife is unfaithful,

whines about howpathetic he is,

kills himself--laugh, laugh, laugh--go to commercial.

Got it?

And action!


Still rolling.

Oh, Calculon,I wish you had never escaped

from those brutalcrab fishermen.

I want you to knowI didn't wait for you,

not even for one day.

(heavy sigh)

Then I supposethe honorable thing

would be to kill myself...

if I weren'tthe legendary Calculon,

the greatest acting unitof all time!

This show is about me!

And it always has been!

Now, find theco-executive hackwho wrote this drivel

and tell him I want37 more climactic speeches

by lunch!


That was terrible!

Just stick to the script.And if you don't get it

on the second take,you're fired.

Let's take five, people.

(bell rings)

"Second take"?

I-I've never heard that phrase--what does that mean?

They want youto do it again.