Mike Yard - Suspicious Behavior

Behrendt, Daniels, Yard, Joyce, Mac, Nystrom, Schaal Season 1, Ep 2 07/27/2006 Views: 7,881

Mike Yard fights terrorism, one suspicious character at a time. (1:42)

It's our job now, man.

I was reading this articleon the Internet, man.

Our Homeland Security Chiefsays that, you know,

we, as citizens, have to be morediligent and seek out terrorism

and do our part, you know?

So... yeah, and then I wenton the subway

and they had signs up nowthat say, you know:

"Stop terrorism.

If you see something,say something."

You know what I'm saying?

So we gotta go upto the terrorists

like, if you're on the trainand you see somebody

getting readyto blow theyself up,

you have to approachthat terrorist and go, "Hey!"

"Stop it."

What else are you gonna sayto a terrorist?

( laughs )

Take that on the F train.

'Cause that's all New Yorkerswould say.

We'd be, like, "Yo, I don't careif you blow it up.

"It's not mine.I gotta get to work.

"I get my check today, too.

Don't play with me."

You know?And he was talking about...

I was reading this article, man.

He was like, you know,you've got to be more diligent

and keep an eye out,look out for suspicious people.

Yeah, that might workin Minnesota.

But I live in New York.What's suspicious in New York?

Have you ever seen anythingsuspicious in New York?

Have you ever... walking downthe street in New York

and seen something and went,"That was weird"?

Never, I mean, what qualifies

as suspicious in this...is this suspicious?

I saw a dude on the subway platform arguing with a hot dog.

Is that suspicious?

My man was having a full-fledgedargument with a frankfurter.

"Shut up, Frank!"

"You don't... me like that.

I will eat you!"