Jo Koy - Swimming

07/03/10 Views: 124,116

After getting into swimming, Jo Koy was more excited about Michael Phelps's relay race than he anticipated. (2:09)

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I GOT INTO SWIMMING.I HATE SWIMMING!

I GOT INTO ITBECAUSE OF MICHAEL PHELPS.

I THINK EVERYONEGOT INTO SWIMMING

BECAUSE OF MICHAEL PHELPS,RIGHT?

I GOT INTO THAT.

[cheers and applause]

OOH, I COULDN'T WAITFOR THAT RA--

OOH, THAT RELAY,I COULDN'T WAIT.

I BOUGHT GOGGLES.

BOUGHT GOGGLES.

I WAS SITTINGON THE COUCH.

I WAS NAKED. I WAS NAKED.I DID--I DIDN'T HAV--

THE SPEEDOSDIDN'T COME IN YET,

JUST THE GOGGLES.

THE SPEEDOS--I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY WERE LATE.

I BOUGHT THEM ON eBAY.

IT WAS A--IT WAS A GOGGLES,SPEEDO PACKAGE.

AND THE [...]ONLY SENT ME GOGGLES,

BUT I WAS LIKE, "[...] IT.I'M GONNA WEAR IT ANYWAYS."

SO I WAS NAKED,BUT I HAD A BOWL OF POPCORN.

I'M WEARING THE GOGGLES,AND I'M EATING POPCORN NAKED.

AND THE RELAYWAS ABOUT TO START.

AND--AND MICHAEL PHELPSWAS ON THAT PLATFORM.

HE HAD THE--THE WET CAP ON,

AND HE WAS, LIKE, SHAKINGTHIS MUSCLE.

I DON'T EVEN KNOWWHAT THAT IS.

HE LOOKEDLIKE A SUPERHERO, RIGHT?

AND I'M NOT GAY,BUT, LIKE, JUST HIM DOING THAT,

I WAS LIKE, "MAN."

[laughter and applause]

HE WAS LIKE A SUPERHERO.YOU KNEW HE WAS GONNA WIN.

I WAS SO AMPED.I WAS LIKE, "BEAT THAT--

BEAT THEM. BEAT FRANCE.GO! GO, USA!"

I WAS INTO THAT [...].

AND THEN THEY SHOT THE GUN.[imitates gunshot]

THE FIRST--RIGHT?THE FIRST SWIMMER WENT IN.

AH, AH, AH!

PULLED AHEAD 20 FEET.WE WERE KILLING FRANCE.

RIGHT?

AND THEN MICHAEL PHELPSWAS THE SECOND SWIMMER.

JUMPED IN--BAH, AH!

PULLED AHEAD 30 MORE FEET.

I WAS LIKE, "WE GOT THIS.WE'RE GONNA WIN."

I WAS ON THE COUCH,"GO, GO, GO."

AND THEN THE BLACK GUYJUMPED IN.

[laughter and applause]

YOU GUYS REALLY CAN'T SWIM, MAN.I WAS LIKE--

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