Paul Provenza - Windex

Kevin Meaney & Paul Provenza Season 1, Ep 0132 02/24/1992 Views: 791

We pay the price for other people's stupidity all the time. (2:31)

YOU'RE NOT EVEN AWARE OF IT.

I BOUGHT A BOTTLE OF WINDEX--

THIS CONNECTS.

IT'S $3.99FOR THE BIG, GIANT SIZE.

I'M LOOKING AT THE THINGAND I'M GOING

"$3.99? WHAT A RIP-OFF!

WHERE DO THEY GET THE NERVETO CHARGE US?"

IT'S LIKE 11 CENTS WORTH

OF WATER, AMMONIAAND A LITTLE BLUE STUFF.

WATER AND AMMONIAARE DIRT CHEAP.

HOW MUCH COULD BLUE STUFF RUN?

ESPECIALLY IN BULK,LIKE THEY BUY IT.

AND I'M GETTING ANNOYED.

I'M STEAMINGAND I'M LOOKING AT THE THING.

ALL OF A SUDDEN,THE ANSWER JUMPS OUT AT ME.

IN BIG BLOCK LETTERS,IT ACTUALLY SAYS RIGHT ON THERE:

"WARNING:DO NOT SPRAY INTO EYES."

HERE WE GO,NOW IT'S ALL CLEAR TO ME.

YEARS AGO, BEFORETHEY HAD THAT ON THE LABEL

AND IT WAS, OH... 17 CENTSFOR THE LARGE SIZE

SOME GENIUS WOKE UP ONE MORNING,THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, "YOU KNOW...

( sighs )

CLEANING MY CONTACT LENSES ISSUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS."

( laughter )

"BOY, IF I COULD JUST COME UPWITH SOME QUICK AND EASY WAY

THAT WOULD MAKE IT CONVENIENTAND SIMPLE FOR ME TO GET THE..."

( chuckling )

"HEY!

WINDOW... LOOK THROUGH..."

( pretends to squirt )

"HEY! THIS IS GREAT-- I JUST..."

( screams )

OKAY, SO THIS EINSTEINGOES BLIND.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE'STICKED OFF AT THE WHOLE WORLD.

APPARENTLY HECOULDN'T EVEN LEARN

HOW TO PLAY A MUSICALINSTRUMENT OR ANYTHING

SO HE SUES THE WINDEX COMPANY

AND BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T HAVETHAT WRITTEN ON THE LABEL YET

HE WON, AND NOWYOU AND I HAVE TO PAY $3.99

FOR 11 CENTS WORTH OF WATER,AMMONIA AND A LITTLE BLUE STUFF.

NO, NO, WHOA.

NOW, I BOUGHT A PIANO.

NOWHERE DOES IT SAY, "DO NOT SLAM LID ON GENITALS."

( loud laughter )