Louis Ramey - Honesty Policy

  • Season 5 , Ep 5
  • 07/29/2001
  • Views: 3,715

WE GOT A NEW PRESIDENT.

(SILENCE)

I CAN TELL YOU'RE HAPPY ABOUT

THAT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HIM--

GOTTA BE HONEST WITH YA.

I DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT

BUSH...

(LAUGHTER)

OH-- WAIT A MINUTE, ALL I KNOW

ABOUT MR. BUSH IS HIS FATHER.

HIS FATHER WAS AN EXCELLENT

PRESIDENT.

EXCELLENT PRESIDENT.

FOR COMEDY.

(LAUGHTER)

SOME OF THE BEST MATERIAL

CAME FROM THAT MAN.

REMEMBER WHEN HE GOT SICK ON

NATIONAL TELEVISION?

STARTED BLOWING CHUNKS ON

DIGNITARIES?

WHAT A PROUD DAY TO BE AN

AMERICAN.

WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE BEEN

AT THAT PARTY.

ME STANDING THERE--

GEORGE IN THE CORNER...

(MAKES BARF NOISE)

OH.

PEOPLE ASKING ME IF I'M

AN AMERICAN?

I'M GOING-- BUDDA MA GIGGA MOMO.

(LAUGHTER)

BUDD MA GIGGA MOMO.

(APPLAUSE)

TITOMARLINLATOYA!

SEE, THOSE ARE THE JACKSONS.

SEE?

TITO, MARLIN?

WELL, MAYBE NOT LATOYA...

BUT UM...

HEY, SHE'S PSYCHIC, SHE SAW IT

COMING.

(LAUGHTER)

NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHY

POLITICIANS LIE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

TELL US, WE CAN HANDLE IT.

I'LL VOTE FOR THE FIRST PERSON

THAT JUST ADMITS TO EVERYTHING.

FIRST PERSON THEY WALK UP TO

AND GO, EXCUSE ME, DID YOU SLEEP

WITH THAT WOMAN?

YEAH, WHAT'S UP BABY?

HOW YOU DOIN', GIRL?

YEAH, I SLEPT WITH HER, (BLEEP).

I'D SLEEP WITH HER AGAIN.

WHAT'S UP, BABY?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

WHAT?

DID I EVER DO DRUGS?

YEAH.

I DID SOME DRUGS.

(LAUGHS)

ONCE?

(BLEEP).

I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES

I DID DRUGS.

I KNOW I WAS DOING HER WHEN

I WAS DOING THE DRUGS.

I CAN TELL YOU THAT.

(LAUGHTER)

WHAT?

TAXES?

NO, NOT THAT YEAR--

I WASN'T EVEN WORKING-- I WAS

JUST DOING HER AND DOING DRUGS.

WHAT?

DRAFT?

YEAH, I'LL HAVE ONE.

YOU WASN'T ONE, BABY?

(LAUGHTER)

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