Michelle Buteau - Derek Jeter

South Beach Comedy Festival 2008 Season 1, Ep 2 01/28/2008 Views: 7,965

Two ugly people from two different races will always have a cute kid. (1:56)

-But you know what I love?

I love diversity.

I love to mix it up.

I'm a big fan ofinterracial relationships.

I am.

I love it.

I feel like two ugly peoplefrom two different races

will always have a cute kid.

It's true.

If you're laughing, you havean ugly friend, hook them up.

I don't know if you guysknow Derek Jeter is.

He plays for the Yankees.

You guys know?

He is so attractive.


Suck it.


He is attractive, y'all.

And he is black and white.

I don't know if you'veever seen his parents,

but they are fugly.

I mean they look mildlyretarded, and I'm being nice.

And he is beautiful.

That is an interracialrelationship, y'all.

Because really, guys, Miami, atthe end of the day, the moral

of the story is whether you'reblack, white, Spanish, Indian,

retarded, you shouldn'tcare what color someone is.


[cheers and screams]


Thank you.

The rest of y'all racist.

Y'all shouldn't care what colorsomeone is because eventually

we're all the samecolor in the dark.

It's true.

We just happen to tastea little different.


Who's done the research?

[cheers] Oh.

Let's see how manypeople that are hoes.

Let me tell you something.

My parents mixedit up a little bit.

My mom is from Jamaicaand my dad is from Haiti.

All right!

Titty shake.

The right one's bigger.



The judgment.

I feel it.


I love beingJamaican and Haitian,

y'all, but somehow thismakes me a Puerto Rican.

[screams and cheers]

I never got an email.


I'm just on the team.

People are like, damn, girl,what's your nationality?

Where are you from?

I'm like I'm Jamaicanand and Haitian.

They're like, really?

What part of PuertoRico is that?

And I'm like very west.

I, uh-- and I don't even thinkI look that Puerto Rican either

because I ain't got no kids.

But I, uh-- Oh!

Who said it?

I said it.

That's right.