The "McVatican" Opens

January 5, 2017 - Keegan-Michael Key 01/05/2017 Views: 21,614

Pope Francis gets a new neighbor at the Vatican with the opening of a St. Peter's Square-adjacent McDonald's. (1:15)

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good newsfor all the people

who like their religionwith a side of fries.

When Pope Francislooks out from the Vatican,

he can now seethe golden arches.

REPORTER: It's being called the McVatican,

because the fast food chain is opening

in a church-owned building in the Vatican,

just around the corner from St. Peter's Square.

That's right, a McDonald'shas opened at the Vatican.

And I'm surprised,because I always took the pope

as more of a Burger King guy,well, based on his style.

But it-it actuallymakes a lot of sense

when you think about it,you know?

Both the Catholic Church andMcDonald's have served billions,

they both make people feelreally guilty about themselves,

and both arehistorically bad for children,

so, uh, it makes sense.

-(audience exclaims)-Oh, too soon? Too soon?

But, uh...

But really, my favorite partabout this whole story

is that, finally,

the Hamburglarcan confess his sins.

My son, the seventh commandmenttells us

thou shalt not burglethy neighbor's hams.

Say three Hail Marys and pick meup a McRib while you're at it.

Yes, for just like Jesus,the McRib has returned.

♪ I'm loving it.