Drew Fraser - Sleepover at Mike's

  • Season 9 , Ep 9
  • 03/31/2005
  • Views: 3,365

Drew is willing to cooperate with Michael Jackson. (2:57)

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, YO.

IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD.

I'M CONVINCED IT'S THE END OF

THE WORLD.

EVERYTHING IS BAD FOR YOU NOW.

YOU EVER NOTICE THAT?

EVERYTHING IS BAD.

YOU CAN'T DRINK THE WATER.

YOU CAN'T EAT THE MEAT.

EVERY TIME YOU TURN ON THE NEWS,

WHAT DO THEY TELL YOU?

"BRING THE MEAT BACK.

SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH THE

MEAT!"

MEANWHILE, YOU'RE SITTING WITH

HALF A HAM SANDWICH YOU ATE

ALREADY-- WHAT'S GOING ON

WITH THE MEAT?

I'M EATING THE MEAT RIGHT NOW,

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT?

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE MEAT?

THEN THEY TELL YOU YOU GOT BAD

EYESIGHT, EVERYBODY.

SMOKE MARIJUANA.

THEY SAY WEED WILL CLEAR UP

YOUR EYESIGHT.

WEED MAKES YOU FORGET [BLEEP].

AND IT MAKES YOU HUNGRY.

NOW, YOU SMOKE THE WEED,

YOUR EYES ARE CLEARED UP.

YOU GO BACK AND MAKE A

HAM SANDWICH.

NOW YOU'RE [BLEEP] ALL OVER

AGAIN.

IT'S JUST A...

I DONE ATE THE HAM AGAIN,

[BLEEP].

WHOLE WORLD IS GOING TO AN END,

MAN.

OUR ENTERTAINERS ARE LOSING

THEIR MINDS.

MY MAN MICHAEL JACKSON,

MICHAEL JACKSON, OH MY GOD.

I THINK MICHAEL JACKSON ONE OF

THE GREATEST ENTERTAINERS OF OUR

DAY.

BUT--

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

YES.

UNFORTUNATELY, HE'S LOSING

HIS MIND, TOO.

MIKE IS THE ONLY MAN I KNOW IN

MORE TROUBLE NOW THAT HE'S WHITE

THAN HE WAS WHEN HE WAS BLACK.

YOU KNOW THE THING I'M TALKING

ABOUT?

[LAUGHTER]

AS SOON AS HE TURNED HIMSELF

INTO A WHITE WOMAN, ALL HELL

BROKE LOOSE FOR MIKE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

EVERYTHING FOR MIKE STARTED

GOING DOWNHILL WHEN HE HUNG

HIS BABY OUT THE WINDOW.

REMEMBER THAT, HE HUNG HIS CHILD

OUT THE WINDOW.

PEOPLE WERE COMPLAINING,

WRITING IN, "HOW COULD HE DO

THAT?"

YOU EVER NOTICE THAT THE ONLY

PEOPLE THAT COMPLAINED WERE

THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE KIDS?

[LAUGHTER]

EVERYBODY HERE GOT KIDS KNOW

EVERY NOW AND THEN YOU WANT TO

HANG ONE OF THEM SONS OF BITCHES

OUT A WINDOW BUT YOU JUST DON'T

DO IT.

THE MEDIA KEEPS TALKING ABOUT,

WHY DO KIDS KEEP SLEEPING IN

MIKE'S BED?

WHY THEY KEEP SLEEPING WITH

MIKE?

LET ME TELL YOU ALL SOMETHING,

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN.

IF I SPENT A NIGHT AT MIKE'S

HOUSE, I'M SLEEPING IN HIS BED.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

THAT'S WHERE THE MONEY'S AT.

[LAUGHTER]

I NOT SLEEPING WITH TITO,

I'M SLEEPING WITH MIKE.

AND I'M COMING TO BED SEXY THAN

A SON OF A BITCH, TOO.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M COMING TO BED WITH A T-SHIRT

ON, TIED UP IN A KNOT, WITH SOME

BIKER SHORTS AND SOME LIP GLOSS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND IF MIKE SO MUCH AS

RUB AGAINST ME BY ACCIDENT,

I'M SUING HIM FOR $198 MILLION.

I'M GETTING SOME MONEY OUTTA

THIS SLEEPOVER.

I AIN'T LEAVING OUTTA THERE

EMPTY-HANDED.

AND I'M COMING BACK IN TWO WEEKS

WITH BOTH MY KIDS.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

COME ON, Y'ALL, WE'RE GETTING

READY TO GO SLEEP AT MIKE'S

HOUSE.

HA-HA!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, DON'T PUT

NO PANTS ON.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED PANTS.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA NEED PANTS.

I WANT MIKE TO KNOW WE CAME

OVER THERE TO COOPERATE.

TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.

TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF.

JUST WEAR A T-SHIRT AND SOME

FLIP-FLOPS.

COME ON, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.

JAMAL, STOP CRYING.

STOP CRYING!

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

[LAUGHTER]

SOME OF Y'ALL LAUGHING,

THE REST OF YOU ARE LIKE,

"YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT'S NOT A BAD

IDEA.

BRING THE KIDS."

[LAUGHTER]

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