Damn Nature, You Scary

Season 2 , Ep 8 08/27/13 Views: 20,591

Nick Kroll shares his bear-related business plan, and John Mulaney reveals an elaborate method for thwarting a bear attack. (1:47)

>> Jeselnik: MOVING ON.

NOW IT'S TIME FOR DAMN, NATURE,

YOU SCARY.

MEET BEARS IN YOUR AREA.

BEAR ATTACKS ARE ON THE RISE AND

SEVEN PEOPLE ATTACKED IN FOUR

DAYS ACROSS THE COUNTRY.

AS A RESULT, HIKERS ARE BEING

ASKED TO TRAVEL IN GROUPS OF

THREE OR AS BEARS CALL IT,

BUFFET STYLE.

>> I WOULD HAVE A BUSINESS

CALLED BAD NEWS BEARS.

THE BASIC IDEA IS THAT LIKE

HULKING GAY MEN COME AND DELIVER

BAD NEWS TO YOU.

ONE GUY'S LIKE, YOUR SON HAS

CANCER.

YOU'RE LIKE, OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE

NEWS BUT YOU'RE WEARING JEAN

SHORTS.

IT MAKES IT A LITTLE EASIER.

>> THE PROBLEM IS YOU HEAR YOUR

SUPPOSED TO PLAY DEAD WHEN YOU

SEE A BEAR BUT YOU CAN'T JUST

LAY ON THE GROUND YOU HAVE TO BE

CONVINCING.

WHEN I'M IN THE WOODS AND I SEE

A BEAR I GET INTO THE WHOLE

DEATH THING.

I SAVE MY HEAD AND PULL THE

BLANKET UP AND HOLD HANDS WITH A

JAMAICAN NURSE AND RABBI AND

THERE'S JUST A LOT OF LOVE IN

THE ROOM AND THE BEAR STARTS

WATCHING BECAUSE HE'S IN AWE OF

THE SCENE AND SOMEONE TURNS ON A

BOOM BOX AND HEAR BOYS TO MEN

SING IT'S HARD TO SAY GOOD-BYE

TO YESTERDAY AND PEOPLE GET UP

AND SPEAK AND SAY WHEN I THINK

OF JOHN I THINK OF A LEADER AND

THE BEAR BY THAT POINT IS CAUGHT

UP IN THE FUNERAL AND PEOPLE ARE

LIKE DID YOU KNOW HIM AND HE'S

LIKE I DIDN'T BUT I HAVE A GREAT

RESPECT FOR HIM AND WHEN THE

BEAR IS HAVING THE BOOK TO SIGN

YOU WERE AT THE WAKE I SNEAK OUT

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