Lines - Breakup Lines

  • Ep 7
  • 03/25/2010
  • Views: 106,344

Everyone knows a few pick-up lines, but no one ever thinks about what to say when they break up. (2:56)

ABOUT PICKUP LINES,

BUT WHAT ABOUT LINES YOU USE

WHEN YOU'RE BREAKING UPWITH SOMEONE?

THAT'S WHAT WE REALLY NEED--BREAK-UP LINES.

HERE ARE SOME BREAK-UP LINES.

DO YOU BELIEVEIN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

HOW ABOUT MISERYAFTER THREE YEARS?

(laughter)

LET'S BREAK UP.

♪♪

THAT SHIRT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSEWOULD LOOK GOOD ON YOU?

MY FRIEND DAVE.

(laughter)

I THINK YOUSHOULD GO OUT WITH HIM.

♪♪

IS IT HOT IN HERE?

OR ARE YOU JUST SUFFOCATING MEIN THIS RELATIONSHIP?

(laughter)

(applause)

♪♪

WHEN I'M WITH YOU,I FEEL 3 POUNDS LIGHTER.

PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU BORETHE (bleep) OUT OF ME.

(audience groans) OH!

AND I HAD A BIG LUNCH.

(laughter)

♪♪

HEY, BABY,

ARE YOU BEING FOLLOWED?

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN SEEING PEOPLEBEHIND YOUR BACK.

(laughter)

♪♪

I DIDN'T KNOW ANGELSFLEW THIS CLOSE TO THE GROUND.

MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSETHIS ANGEL'S

GAINED A LITTLE WEIGHTSINCE WE STARTED GOING OUT.

(laughter)

♪ LET'S BREAK UP

HEY, I WAS JUST WONDERING...

ARE YOU DOING PUSH-UPSWITH YOUR KNEES DOWN?

BECAUSE I'M NOT SUREIF THIS IS WORKING OUT.

(laughter)

♪ LET'S BREAK UP

DO YOU HAVE ANY GREEKIN YOU?

THAT WAS JUST A TACTFUL WAYOF ASKING IF YOU'RE PREGNANT.

(audience) OH!

IF NOT, THEN...

♪ LET'S BREAK UP

(laughter)

HEY, IS THERE A NEWCRITICALLY ACCLAIMED MOVIE

CALLED "OTHER PEOPLE"?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHATI WANT TO SEE...

(laughter)

RIGHT NOW.

(laughter)

ARE YOUR FEET TIRED?

BECAUSE...

YOU'VE BEEN STOMPING ONMY DREAMS FOR A FEW MONTHS NOW.

(laughter)

♪ LET'S BREAK UP

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

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