Mark Curry - Getting Pulled Over

  • Season 2 , Ep 4
  • 06/11/1999
  • Views: 7,147

Everybody turn your hats around and sit up straight. Be cool. (4:25)

( laughing )

LOOK AT THE BLACK PEOPLE.

"YEAH, THEY ARE."

'CAUSE THEY DIDN'T USE THELIGHTS WHEN THEY PULLED US OVER.

THEY JUST LIKE,"WHOOP-WHOOP WHOOP!

WHOOP, WHOOP."

"WHOOP."

"WHAT WAS THAT?

"I KNOW HE DIDN'T JUST WHOOP ME.

"HELL, NAW,I AIN'T PULLING OVER.

"I NEED ALL MY LIGHTS.

"ABOUT TO GIVE ME A $200 TICKET,I WANT YOUR BATTERY TO RUN DOWN.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT."

GETTING PULLED OVER--I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE

WHEN YOU GET PULLED OVERBY THE POLICE, YOU CUSS.

SOON AS THE POLICECOME BEHIND YOU

( groaning ):AHH...! DAMN!

DAMN!

YOU CAN BE A OLD LADY, YOU CUSS,"THAT BASTARD MOTHER ( bleep )."

"WHERE MY PILLS?"

AND POLICE JUST DON'TPULL YOU OVER RIGHT AWAY.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THEY FOLLOW YOU.

DON'T YOU HATE THAT?

THEY FOLLOW YOU FOR, LIKE,TEN, 15 BLOCKS

AND YOU'RE LIKE, "DAMN!"

YOU JUST WANT TO GET OUT THECAR, "JUST GIVE ME A TICKET

"AND STOP MESSING WITH ME!

"OKAY, I RANTHROUGH A RED LIGHT.

JUST GIVE ME A TICKET!"

YOU SAY THAT IN YOUR MIND.

WHEN THEY JUST... WHEN POLICE,WHEN POLICE BEHIND YOU

THAT'S WHEN YOU THINKOF EVERY TICKET

YOU EVER GOT IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU SAY,"OKAY, I GOT ONE IN JUNE

"FOR WEAVING IN AND OUTTHAT FUNERAL PROCESSION.

"I PAID THAT ONE.

"ON THAT LAST TICKET, I DIDN'TKNOW WHERE TO SEND IT.

"IT WASN'T NO ADDRESSON THE ENVELOPE

"SO THAT AIN'T MY FAULT.

IT AIN'T MY FAULT."

YOU IN YOUR CAR, LIKE, "DAMN!

"NOBODY MOVE. EVERYBODY BE COOL.

"TURN YOUR HATS AROUND.EVERYBODY TURN YOUR HATS AROUND.

"TURN YOUR HATS AROUND.

"SIT UP STRAIGHT,SIT UP STRAIGHT.

"BE COOL, BE COOL, BE COOL,BE COOL.

THERE WE GO."

SEAT BELTS DON'T WORK.

YOU TIE IT AROUND YOUR THIGHS.

"TINY, SIT DOWN.

SIT ON THE SEAT BELT.PUT IT ON."

( grunting )

YOU CHECK THE ASHTRAY.

"OH, MY GOD."

( coughing )

TURN SIGNALS AIN'T NEVER WORKED.

YOU DO IT WITH YOUR HAND.

YOU FORGOT HOW TO DO IT.

YOU DOING ANYTHING YOU CAN.

YOU TALKING TO PEOPLE.

"ALL RIGHT, VAN, YOU GO,AND I'LL GO AFTER YOU.

"YOU GO. COME ON, COME ON.

"LADY, ARE YOU COMINGACROSS THE STREET?"

"NO, I'M NOT."

"TAKE YOUR ASS

"ACROSS THE STREET.

"BE COOL. NOBODY MOVE,NOBODY MOVE.

BE COOL, BE COOL, BE COOL."

MINORITIES, WE GET PULLED OVER,WE CAN'T MOVE.

MINORITIES...

( chuckles )

WE GOT TO PUT OUR HANDSWHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM.

MINORITIES, WE GET PULLED OVER,WE LIKE THIS, "NOBODY MOVE.

( muffled ):"NOBODY MOVE,NOBODY SAY NOTHING.

"NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY MOVE.

"YOU GOT ONE ON YOUR RIGHT,ONE ON YOUR LEFT.

"ONE ON YOUR RIGHT,ONE ON YOUR LEFT.

"NOBODY MOVE.

BE COOL, BE COOL, BE COOL,BE COOL."

WHITE PEOPLE, YOU GUYS GET OUTAND TALK TO THE POLICE.

"OFFICER, HOW YOU DOING?"

"WELL, THAT STOP SIGN,I COULDN'T SEE.

IT WAS BLOCKED BY SOME FOLIAGE,AND WE, I COULDN'T SEE IT."

"DO YOU KNOW BOB BECKER?

WHAT ABOUT DAVID GOLDMAN?"

"NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY MOVE,NOBODY MOVE.

"NOBODY MOVE, NOBODY MOVE

"NOBODY MOVE.

"HOW YOU DOING, OFFICER?

THE REASON I WAS EXCEEDINGTHE SPEE..."

WHY WE TALK LIKE THATTO THE POLICE?

WHY WE COME UP WITH WORDSWE NEVER USE?

SUDDENLY,WE ARE HARVARD GRADUATES

WHEN WE TALK TO THE POLICE.

WE SUPER-EDUCATED.

"HOW YOU DOING, OFFICER?

"THE REASON I WAS EXCEEDINGTHE SPEED LIMIT

"WAS DUE TO THE FACT THATI WAS TRYING TO EXTRAORDINARY

"GET DOWN TO THE YOUTH CENTER

"SO I COULD READAND EDUCATE THE KIDS

"ON THE EXTRAORDINARY PROCESSES

"OF THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEMOF AMERICA.

"I KNOW IT'S 3:00 A.M.

"I WAS TRYING TO GETA JUMP ON THE EDUCATION

"SO I COULD SYSTEMATICALLYCONTROL MY UNIVERSE

"SO WE CAN CONTROLTHEIR UNIVERSE

"SO WE CAN DESTROY THE NEGATIVEIMAGES OF STEREOTYPES

"BROUGHT TO USBY DIFFERENT ELEMENTS

OR FACTORS IN THIS UNIVERSE."

"WHAT'D YOU...WHAT'D YOU SAY, OFFICER?"

"COULD YOU ROLL DOWNYOUR WINDOW, PLEASE?"

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