Dad D**ks

  • Season 3 , Ep 6
  • 07/03/2012
  • Views: 80,714

While on the roof, the guys discuss the epidemic of dads' shrinking denim monsters. (2:44)

MAN, THAT IS SO COOL THATYOUR DAD IS COMING THIS WEEKEND.

CAN'T WAIT TO MEET THE GUY.

- NO, BLAKE,IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT.

- IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME!ARE YOU KIDDING?

HE GETS TO MEET US,

AND THEN HE GETS TO SEETHE UNVEILING

OF YOUR BEEF JERKY COMPANY.

THAT'S LIKE "THE PROUDESTDAD EVER" MOMENT RIGHT THERE.

- YEAH,MEAT JERKING BEEF BOYS.

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE NAMING IT.- YEAH.

- INCORPORATED MAYBE.WE'RE NOT SURE.

- I HAVEN'T BEEN TRUTHFULWITH MY DAD

ABOUT ANY ASPECTOF MY LIFESTYLE.

- WHO CARES, MAN?EVERYBODY LIES TO THEIR DAD.

- MY DAD STILL SENDS ME CHECKSFOR SPACE CAMP.

I HAVEN'T BEEN IN LIKE--I NEVER WENT.

- DUDE, MY DAD'S EXPECTATIONSARE WAY HIGHER, ALL RIGHT?

I HAD TO TELL HIM THATI WAS A VP AT TELAMERICORP.

I TOLD HIM I PLAY

IN AN ALL-WHITE SQUASH LEAGUEON SUNDAYS,

AND THAT I OWN MY OWN HOME,WHICH I DON'T, CLEARLY.

- I WOULDN'T EVEN WORRYABOUT IT, DERS.

I'M SURE YOUR DADHAS A HUGE HEART.

PROBABLY HAS A BIG OLD...SCHLONGER AS WELL, HUH?

DOES HE?- OH, YEAH!

DAD DICKS?- MAYBE.

- OH, DAD DICKS ARE HUGE, MAN.

AND FROM ALL THE STORIESI'VE HEARD ABOUT YOUR DAD,

FORGET IT.THAT'S A MONSTER.

- TOTALLY.

- THAT'S A MONSTERJUST TRAPPED IN DENIM.

- I STILL REMEMBERTHE FIRST DAD DICK I SAW.

- UH-HUH.- I WAS SEVEN YEARS OLD.

IT WAS AT A WARRIORS GAME.

WE WERE AT ONE OF THOSEHORSE TROUGHS.

- OH, GOD!- AND I'M LIKE...

- WITH A STREAM OF JUST POWER.

- GROWLING NEXT TO YOU.

- YEAH.- AND THAT'S THE THING.

DAD DICKS IN THE LATE '80s,EARLY '90s,

THEY WERE BIGGER.- YEP.

- I THINK THERE'S SOMETHINGSHRINKING DAD DICKS.

THAT SHOULD BE ON 20/20.

- SO WHAT IS YOUR POPSPACKING?

- OKAY, YOU WANNA KNOW?- YEAH.

- I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER--

HE HAS A LEGIT BAT.- YEAH.

- I'M NOT GONNA LIE.

IF I CLOSE MY EYES,I CAN SEE IT RIGHT NOW.

IT'S GOT THE--IT GOES A LITTLE--

- OH, MAN, DAD DICKS, RIGHT?OOH, MAMA!

- EXCUSE ME.EXCUSE ME.

HI. UM, I'M VANESSAWITH MCMILLAN REALTY.

WE'RE HOLDING AN OPEN HOUSE

DOWN THE STREETON SUNDAY

AND I WOULD JUST ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT IF YOU WEREN'T...

DRINKING BEERS ON THE ROOF.

- OH, RIGHT.YOU GOT IT, NO PROBLEM.

WEED ONLY!- YEP.

- SUPER BLUNT SUNDAY!- YEP.

- SUPER BOWL SUNDAY!WE'LL JUST SMOKE BOWLS!

- OR MAYBE NOT BEON THE ROOF AT ALL.

SOUND DOABLE?THANKS!

- DID SHE JUST SAY OPEN HOUSE?- YEAH.

- UH-OH.HEY, I KNOW THAT LOOK.

- I DON'T KNOW ANY OF HIS LOOKS.- EXCUSE ME, BANESSA!

- I'M SORRY?- IT'S BANESSA, WASN'T IT?

- NO, VA-NESSA.

- NO, I'M ACTUALLY POSITIVE YOUCAME UP, YOU SAID, "BANESSA."

I THOUGHTIT WAS A STUPID NAME.

BUT THAT'S YOUR NAMEAND YOU SHOULD STICK WITH IT.

I WOULD LIKE TO MAKEAN OFFER

TO BUY THAT HOUSEFOR THE WEEKEND.

IS THAT A THING?- OH.

- WE CAN TALK WHENI'M BACK IN TOWN SUNDAY

FOR THE OPEN HOUSE.

YOU'LL SEE MY SIGN.IT'S SAYS, "VA-NESSA...

WITH MCMILLAN."

'KAY, THANKS AGAIN!

- ALL RIGHT.- OHH.

[laughter]

OH, I KNOW THAT LOOK.- YEAH.

- I'M SORRY, LADY,I DON'T WANNA HAVE SEX WITH YOU

UNLESS YOU WANNAHAVE SEX WITH ME.

IN THAT CASE,YES, I'LL HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

- GAME ON.- YEAH.

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