Erik Griffin - Emmy Award Dates

Erik Griffin Season 2, Ep 3 05/10/2013 Views: 12,509

If Erik Griffin ever gets to attend the Emmy Awards, he knows exactly whom he wants to bring as his date. (2:45)

"Workaholics" is notthe type of show

that's gonna win an Emmy,unfortunately. Uh...


And I want to go to the Emmysso bad, you know?

'Cause I want to go weird,you know what I mean? Like...

I'm not gonna take a hot chick,

even thoughthat would be expected.


(bleep) this wholeside of the room.


Know what I mean?

No, I want to go weird,you understand?

I'm gonna go weird.

You know, I want to getout the limo with, like,

a little dwarf. Just pow.

Right on my pinky, like that.

Ooh, puddle, puddle, puddle.


No, carrying a little baby slingon my chest

just like, right here,like, "Hey..." you know?

I can go weirder than that.

You know who I really would loveto take to the Emmys

or something like that?

Is that two-headed chickfrom TLC.

You ever see that?

Oh, have you seen this?

Two heads, one body.


I am obsessed.

And they don't show enough.It needs to be on HBO.


'Cause to me, they're...

they're, like,on their toilet fighting.

"Bitch, I told younot to have tacos.

Look at us on this toilet,like..."


Like... like, do they havejoint (bleep) control?

Like, who's in charge?

Like, is one pushing,and the other one's going,

"Get it, girl! Get it!

Get it, girl!"


"Got it!" (grunts)

You know, I don't know...

Like, are they on the couch,"Did you fart?"

"Bitch, we farted.Don't act like...

"We are both here right now.

"This is a... this is a 'us'situation right here.

Don't act like..."

It would be toughto date them though,

'cause maybe you only likeone head.

You know?

And then the bill comes,

you're gonna have that momentwhere you're like, "Um...


"I mean...

"I took you out,you know what I mean? I...

"This head had ribs and shrimp.

"Are we gonna split this bill?

How we gonnawork this right now?"

I want one of themto be a whore.

Just one is a whore, you know?

Just, one of them's always,"I want to suck some (bleep)."

And the other head is like,"Would you stop being a slut

"all the time?

You always have some guy's thighin my face."

You don't get that?





One wants her hair pulled, "Ah!"

The other one's like,"Oh, my God!"

"You stop crying.Look at your other head.

Stop crying."