#HashtagWars - #RichBooks

Wednesday, December 7, 2016 12/07/2016 Views: 266

Inspired by billionaire Bill Gates's favorite books of the year list, Jon Gabrus, Mamrie Hart and Joe Randazzo turn classic literature into tales for the ultra-wealthy. (2:12)

And now all of our sweatershave been adjusted properly,

it is time to begintonight's #HashtagWars.

(cheering, whistling)

Bill Gates, father of Clippy,the (bleep) sucking paper clip,

-(laughter)-uh...

He...

He's fallen on a lotof hard times since...

they forcibly retired him.

Uh, he has, uh,has lots of money...

Bill Gates has lots of money,which apparently he uses

to buy lots and lots of books.

Mr. Gates just releasedhis "best books" of 2016,

and it is just as excitingas that sweater implies.

(laughter)

And his shirt underneath itsays, "Pussy, the most expensive

meal you will ever (bleep)."

Right.

"Pussy,the most expensive meal,"

in parentheses,"but I can afford it." Yeah.

-Uh...-(laughter)

(laughs):The... the...

See, guys? The ultra-rich,they're just regular folks.

They read whatever theycan reach on their toilet, too.

That is why tonight's hashtagis #RichBooks.

Examples might be-- Green Caviar and Ham,

or... The Even Greater Gatsby.

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.

-Mamrie. -Crime and No Punishment.

-Points.-(laughter, applause, cheering)

-Jon Gabrus. -Lord of the Diamond Rings,

Fellowship of the This Ain't No Jared Ring.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Mamrie. -One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish,

What the (bleep)? I Ordered Uni.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Joe Randazzo. -The Art of War Profiteering.

-Yes, points.-(laughter, groans)

-Jon Gabrus. -Girl on the Train

Bitching About How Her Beamer's in the Shop.

-Yes, points.-(laughter)

-Joe Randazzo. -Alexander and the Terrible,

Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Labor Practices.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Mamrie. -12 Angry Maids.

-Points.-(laughter)

-Randazzo. -The Joy of Sex in Weird Goat Masks.

(laughter)

Points to Randazzo. Mamrie.

The Grapes of Wrath... That Turned into an Oaky Merlot.

-All right, points.-(laughter)

-Gabrus. -Fifty Shades of Kylie Lip Kit.

-All right, points. Very good.-(laughter)