Greg Behrendt - Don't Get It

Butler, Behrendt, Louis C.K. Season 2, Ep 5 05/26/1993 Views: 2,203

When people stare at something, it makes you feel like you don't get it. (1:23)

Wanna let you know that rightaway, OK, because I don't

want to be buggedafter the show.


-The way to spot a male hooker,at least in San Francisco,

and I think it's true here, ifyou're coming down the street,

you see a guy standingup against a wall,

leaning against thewall with one leg

up like this leaning against thewall, means he's a male hooker.

If you're comingdown the street,

and you see a guy standingup against the wall,

and he has both legs up likethis, means it's Spiderman.



-Get his autograph becausehe's a huge celebrity

and he's imaginary.

Hey, you're Spiderman!


-[laughs] You don't exist.

I also- I was at- I wasat the zoo the other day.

And very panicky.

You know, the situationswhere you really don't know

how to act, you know,you're unsure of- of what

you're supposed to do.

I was at the zoofor the first time.

I'm looking at somethingcalled a lesser

kudu, which islike a fancy deer.

And I'm looking at this thingand I panic because I have

no idea, you know, how longI'm supposed to look at it,

you know, because I don't knowwhether I've got enough lesser

kudu enjoyment, Youknow what I mean?


-Like, I don't knowwhat I'm supposed

to- I don't haveenough information.

I don't know.

You know, and at one point,the thing stares at me,

like, it wants tostart something.

And I'll go--


- --a couple of rounds, man,because I can make a fist,

at least.


-And I was at the Modern today.

I'm looking at thispainting at the Modern.

It's blue, OK.It's real simple.

It's a big, blue square.

No shade of blue.

Just one- just one- just blue.

Just blue.

-And it's called Azul.

Real simple.

And this woman is staringat, like, a part of it.

You see what I'm saying.

She's looking at a part ofit, like, I don't get it.

Like, she's intimidating me.

Like, I don'tunderstand the painting.

-You know, like- like,she's better than me

all of the sudden.

Like, she's, oh, this part, youknow, this part is different.

It's better.

You know, it's-so finally I just,

bam, you know, because I get it.


-Thank you guys very much.