Jeremy Hotz - Los Angeles

CC Presents: Jeremy Hotz Season 3, Ep 3 06/20/2000 Views: 7,661

Nothing changes in Los Angeles, not even the seasons. (1:44)

I HAD TO MOVE.

L.A.: WHAT A MISERABLE PLACETHAT IS.

NOTHING EVER CHANGES.

OH, THE FALL IN L.A.:WHAT A BEAUTIFUL TIME OF YEAR.

SO DIFFERENT THANTHE OTHER SEASONS.

LOOK AT THAT TREE.I THINK IT'S CHANGING COLOR.

NO, IT'S JUST DEAD.

I LIVE IN A PLACECALLED TARZANA.

THAT'S WHAT THEY CALLED IT:TARZANA.

THEY STICK AN A ON THE END,

THEY THINK NO ONE'SGOING TO FIGURE IT OUT.

IT'S TARZAN.I LIVE IN A TREE HOUSE.

MY NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR'STHE KEEBLER ELF.

OH, I HATE THAT LITTLE PRICK.

HE KEEPS ME UP AT NIGHTMAKING COOKIES IN HIS TREE.

THAT'S NO WAYTO RUN A BUSINESS.

THERE'S ZONING LAWS,YOU [bleep] SHRIMP.

TARZANA:

FULL OF THE BIGGEST SNAILSI'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

YOU DON'T GET THE SNAILSIN THE EAST HERE--

SNAILS THE SIZE OF MY HAND

JUST CRAWLINGACROSS THE SIDEWALK.

NOWHERE NEAR WATER.

HOW THE HELLDID THEY GET THERE?

I HATE SNAILS.I DON'T TRUST 'EM.

PULLING THEIR HOUSEON THEIR BACK.

WALKING AROUND,"NOTHING CAN HARM ME.

I'VE GOT MY HOUSEON MY BACK."

CRUNCH.

"WHERE'D THAT FOOTCOME FROM?

"BASTARD BROKE MY HOUSE.